How to Avoid The Fourteen Dating Traps

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How to Avoid The Fourteen Dating Traps
Here are all the dating mistakes singles make and solid strategies for finding the love of your life

Strategy: Make conscious relationship choices by defining your requirements and use them to scout, sort, and screen potential partners.

9. Sex Trap

Focusing on the chemistry under the covers by interpreting sex as love; using sex as a kind of compatibility test (if the sex is good then the relationship will be good as well); or becoming emotionally attached and considering yourself in a kind of committed relationship as soon as you have sex.

Strategy: Make conscious relationship choices by defining your requirements and use them to scout, sort, and screen potential partners. Understand that a relationship needs more than great sex to thrive.

10. Rescue Trap

Hoping a relationship will solve your emotional and financial difficulties and bring you happiness and fulfillment, something like winning the lottery. You avoid taking responsibility for your life challenges, expecting to be rescued from them. Results in desperation, neediness, and relationship failure when your problems multiply instead of disappear.

Strategy: Define your Vision for your life and relationship and live your Vision as a successful single person. Resolve emotional, financial, and other problems prior to seeking a lasting committed relationship. Seek to be in a position of “choice” and “want” rather than "need.”

11. Co-Dependant Trap

You expect someone to love you and give you what you want by giving the other person what he/she wants. You attempt to earn love and happiness by acquiescing, giving, and helping. You really want to be in a relationship. You feel that you are not worthy as you are, and need to earn love. You pursue relationships hard because you feel incomplete when you’re not in one. You want to be the hero and therefore seek someone who wants to be helped. But you learn the hard way that although it feels good to be needed, someone who needs you is not necessarily able to give you what you need. Needing to be needed often results in unconsciously attracting and choosing a relationship with a person who needs you – but as you later discover is unable to give you what you want or need.

Strategy: Define your Vision and Requirements and choose a closely aligned partner. Learn to be assertive, identify and ask for what you want and need, identify and assert boundaries, and develop the ability to say “No.” Be the “Chooser” and cautious of people that choose you!

12. Entitlement Trap

Believing that you deserve to be happy and get what you want in your life without effort or changes on your part. Results in relationship failure as you rely on your partner to bring you happiness and fulfillment. This inevitably results in disappointment. If you continue to do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get the same results.

Strategy: Take personal responsibility for your life and relationship. Define your Vision and Life Purpose and live them when single.

13. Virtual Reality Trap

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.
Article contributed by
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David Steele

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David Steele, MA, LMFT
Founder, Relationship Coaching Institute
http://www.relationshipcoachinginstitute.com
http://www.milliondollarpractice.net
http://www.therapisttocoach.com
http://www.consciousdating.com
http://www.coupleforlife.com

888-268-4074
 

Location: Campbell, CA
Credentials: LMFT, MA, MFT
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