ProConnect

Why Men Ask You Out

By

Why Men Ask You Out
He's asked you out on a date. You think you know why, but you're not sure. Here's his reason.

Now before you start angrily heaving all things great and small in my direction, let me clarify one important point: Sex drives us to ask you out, and is the primary goal of our encounter. But it is not the only reason we continue going out with you once we have known you in an intimate way. After we have experienced the sexual side of you, we start to appreciate your many other attributes for the first time. Your great smile, your cute laugh, your bubbly personality, your sparkling wit are now suddenly, almost magically more apparent. These were all things that were already on display for us to see, but in our tunnel vision to embed ourselves in your tunnel, we probably failed to notice. Now that we’ve “done the deed” with you, we actually start to listen to what you’re saying, instead of mindlessly nodding our heads, while all we are hearing is the persistent thud of the drumming in our loins. Now, finally, we’re beginning to notice how cool you truly are. And that makes us really like you. And want to ask you out more. So we can have more sex with you…and find out what other wonderful things there are about you, that we completely overlooked in our rush to the bedroom.

The bottom line is this: Men are goal oriented in most of their pursuits, and their pursuit of you is no different. And it is not “awful,” “shameful,” “shallow,” or “scandalous,” that we behave this way. It is simply the way we were hard-wired. Yes, it may be different than the way you were hard-wired, but far be it from me to judge either way superior to the other. And sure, there are men who will ask you out who do not want to have sex with you…but they are either a close relative, gay, wanting to sell you insurance, or all of the above. Generally speaking, guys that find you attractive want to see just how attractive you really are…all over. So next time a man asks you out, you’ll have a complete understanding of what his motivation is. No more guesswork or speculation. His intentions are clear – he thinks you’re hot and wants to share in the warmth. And sharing is an admirable thing, right?

© 2008 David M. Matthews. All Rights Reserved.
 

Besides being a relationship coach and author of the controversial book, "Every Man Sees You Naked: An Insider's Guide to How Men Think," David M. Matthews is an Emmy-winning TV Writer/Producer who's worked on some of television's best shows.

For more information on David or to get a copy of his free report on "The 3 Things Men Are REALLY Looking For In A Relationship," go to www.EveryManSeesYouNaked.com.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

David M. Matthews

Author

Besides being a relationship coach and author of the controversial book, "Every Man Sees You Naked: An Insider’s Guide to How Men Think," David M. Matthews is an Emmy-winning TV Writer/Producer who’s worked on some of television’s favorite shows.

For more information on David or to get a copy of his free report on "The 3 Things Men Are REALLY Looking For In A Relationship," go to www.EveryManSeesYouNaked.com.

Location: Porter Ranch, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues, Dating/Being Single Support
Other Articles/News by David M. Matthews:

Getting Men To Stop "Fixing" Your Emotions

By

Question: My significant other does not know how to handle my emotion when I am depressed or sad. He said he wanted to fix things, but he does not know how, so now he tends to shy away. And his avoidance only makes me feel worse. Is there a way for us to arrive at a happy medium? —Rhonda Answer: This is a great question, and one that has ... Read more

Change Of Heart: Now She Wants Him Back

By

Question: My ex and I broke up several months ago after five years. Right after the break-up (which was pretty much mutual) I became desperate and needy, begging for him back, which obviously only pushed him away. Now that we've gone almost two months with no contact, we've started texting a very little bit here and there. I'm looking to get back ... Read more

Should She Pursue Former Crush...20 Years Later?

By

Question: I have an unusual situation here...a guy I served with in the military back in my twenties (we are in our mid 40's now), found me on Facebook two years ago (I was married then).  He often sent me texts: jokes, political things, discussions about our kids (we both have teenaged boys, he's divorced).  We discovered that we had crushes ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Distant Woman

Tips For Getting Back in the Saddle After a Breakup

Recently suffered a breakup? Keep these things in mind and you'll be on your way to healing.

Couple Cooking Healthy Dinner

Your RD’s Top 25 Things To Do/ Not To Do to Be Healthy

Your RD’s Top 25 Things To Do/ Not To Do to Be Healthy

Distant Woman

Is Resentment Ruining Your Marriage?

Practicing forgiveness signifies breaking the cycle of pain and not allowing wounds to fester.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS