Expert Blog Compelling advice, stories, and thought-provoking perspectives straight from YourTango's lineup of Experts to you

Male-Female Platonic Friendship? Yeah, Right

Male-Female Platonic Friendship? Yeah, Right [EXPERT]
Love, Self

Is platonic friendship possible between members of the opposite sex?

If you are like many women today, in addition to your numerous female friends, you also have several male friends. For the most part, these are guys you don't date, but you enjoy their company. You hang out with them, share what's going on in your personal lives, get their male perspective on things, but that's about as far as it goes.

Sure, you love them, but like brothers. And you wouldn't even think about ever having sex with them, because that's not what your relationship is about and you know they feel exactly the same way. They cherish your company and friendship, but unlike all the other men in your life, they have absolutely no interest in you sexually.

I'm here to say that you can be absolutely confident that this is true if they are either under the age of ten, comatose, or gay. Otherwise, you're living in a fool's paradise. 

I know what you are thinking: your male friends like you only as a friend. Are you sure? Or are you just assuming because you don't think of them "in that way" that they feel similarly? Now, I admit that these relationships seem innocent enough. After all, you've spent lots of time together and they've never once indicated any sexual interest in you. 

If they were craving you sexually, wouldn't they have said something? Obviously, they are immune to the gravitational pull of your bodies that keep other men orbiting you like hormone-infused asteroids. Sure, on the surface it appears their interest is purely platonic, but trust me when I tell you that, know it or not, their groins are casting furtive glances at your nether region when it's not looking.

So, why haven't they said or done anything to let you know how they truly feel? There could be a few reasons:

1. One or both of you might be in a relationship and the timing is wrong.

2. They know you have no sexual interest in them, and any move they make will be met with negativity, anger or serious laughter.

3. They have no "game" and don’t know how to make a move on you.

Whatever the reason, one thing is certain: In their heart-of-hearts, they hope that one magical evening, one or both of you will be so liquored-up that courage will overcome fear of rejection, pesky inhibitions will disappear along with clothing and at last the two of you will finally grant your genitals some quality time together. Hey, a guy can dream, can't he?

Still think I don't know what I'm talking about and that your guy friends have no interest in getting physical with you? Well, next time you're alone with one of them, tell him you've given it some thought and you'd like to have sex with him. If you're right, there'll be a moment of uncomfortable silence, after which you'll play it all off as a joke and the two of you can have a good laugh.

More likely, however, the awkward silence will be replaced by the metallic song of zipper teeth as your friend hurriedly discards his clothing in an effort to show you just how "friendly" he can be.

© 2009 David M. Matthews. All rights reserved.

Besides being a relationship coach and author of the controversial book, "Every Man Sees You Naked: An Insider's Guide to How Men Think," David M. Matthews is an Emmy-winning TV Writer/Producer who's worked on some of television's best shows.

For more information on David or to get a copy of his free report on "The 3 Things Men Are REALLY Looking For In A Relationship," go to www.EveryManSeesYouNaked.com.

This article was originally published at Fabulously 40. Reprinted with permission from the author.

Author
Expert

Explore YourTango