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What To Do When An Old Affair Rears Its Ugly Head

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What To Do When An Old Affair Rears Its Ugly Head
Run away or try again?
What should you do when a former fling comes back to entice you once again?

The saying goes: "You can cheat on your wife, but you don't cheat on your mistress." Yet, he did both, eight years ago, with little regard for either of your feelings. Then he bragged about loving someone else, despite the fact you were risking your marriage and future being involved with him.

Now he has returned, again insinuating himself into your life, trying to lure you back into his web, knowing you're vulnerable to him and his lines. Don't believe he still "loves you after all these years." 

More from YourTango: Should She Pursue Former Crush...20 Years Later?

If he did he wouldn't call you up out of the blue, throwing your whole world into turmoil … only to once again savage your heart by telling you he's hot for some twenty-something girl with whom he had a three-some. 

I don't think he "still" loves you because I doubt he is capable of loving anyone but himself. Someone who truly cares about you would never be so blatant in his disregard for your feelings, no matter how much he wanted to get inside your pants. 

It's hard to say whether he is more motivated by his urge to have sex with you, his desire to stroke his own ego by proving he can still get to you or his need to diminish your self-respect in order to enhance his own.

In any case, none of these are good reasons for you to disrupt your life and peace of mind and plunge headfirst down the rat hole that any relationship with him must surely be. I know this may sound harsh but you asked for my honest assessment and thus I feel compelled to give it to you in the most straight-forward way possible.

My opinion is that any romantic entanglement with this guy is going to ultimately end in heartache for you. Do yourself a favor and immediately tell him good-bye and good riddance. Your heart will thank you.

© 2008 David M. Matthews.  All Rights Reserved.

Besides being a relationship coach and author of the controversial book, "Every Man Sees You Naked: An Insider's Guide to How Men Think," David M. Matthews is an Emmy-winning TV Writer/Producer who's worked on some of television's best shows.

More from YourTango: Men’s Dirty Little Secrets – Part 2

For more information on David or to get a copy of his free report on "The 3 Things Men Are REALLY Looking For In A Relationship," go to www.EveryManSeesYouNaked.com.

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David M. Matthews

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Besides being a relationship coach and author of the controversial book, "Every Man Sees You Naked: An Insider’s Guide to How Men Think," David M. Matthews is an Emmy-winning TV Writer/Producer who’s worked on some of television’s favorite shows.

For more information on David or to get a copy of his free report on "The 3 Things Men Are REALLY Looking For In A Relationship," go to www.EveryManSeesYouNaked.com.

Location: Porter Ranch, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues, Dating/Being Single Support
Other Articles/News by David M. Matthews:

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