The Great Toilet Seat Debate


The Great Toilet Seat Debate
Why can't guys just learn to leave the damn seat down? Is that too much to ask? Maybe it is.

We live in complicated, controversial times.  There is upheaval all around us, and vastly differing opinions as to the appropriate way to resolve virtually every problem.  The “right” and the “left” can’t seem to agree on anything…except maybe that they’re both unquestionably, devoutly devoted to the principles that define them – whatever those may be.  But there remains one issue that is more hotly debated than all others combined.  I am talking about, of course, men’s insistence on leaving the toilet seat up.  Why can’t they just leave the damn things down?  The simple answer is, “we can…but why should we?”

“What?”  I hear you bristle.  “Guys should lower the toilet seat because it’s just the considerate thing for them to do!”  Agreed.  It would be very considerate for us to do that for you.  And similarly, it would be equally considerate for you to raise the seat back up for us upon completion of your task - for it takes about the same amount of effort to raise the seat as it does to lower it.   In a perfect world, this kind of reciprocity makes absolute sense.  We take care of toilet seat positioning for you, and you do the same for us.  Everybody’s happy.


But this begs a very important question: “Wouldn’t it be simpler and less confusing if each of us were just responsible for placing the seat in the position that best suited our needs, relying on others to do the same?  And shouldn’t we accept and have tolerance for the physiological differences of others with whom we share our facilities, acknowledging their needs may be different, though no less important than our own?”  It is an issue of shared rights and responsibilities, with men and women having equal dominion over the “seat of honor.”

“But wait,” I hear you say.  “What about when I have to use the toilet at night and I don’t want to turn on the light.  If the toilet seat is up, I’m apt to dunk my buns in the bowl.  That really sucks, and it’s not fair, ‘cause guys don’t have the same problem.”  No, but we have a different, equally unpleasant one.  True, for us, urination can be accomplished without being seated.  But if we don’t turn on the light and you’ve left the seat down, or worse, the lid, our stream is suddenly ricocheting in every direction, spraying the contents of our bladder everywhere but in the bowl.  And that leaves both us and the bathroom, pungent, damp, and in need of a good scrubbing.  So in the case of nighttime bathroom usage, I think we must all either turn on the light to determine seat orientation (“look before you leak”), or carefully feel our way in the dark, making certain the “accommodations” are suitable to our particular situation.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

David M. Matthews


Besides being a relationship coach and author of the controversial book, "Every Man Sees You Naked: An Insider’s Guide to How Men Think," David M. Matthews is an Emmy-winning TV Writer/Producer who’s worked on some of television’s favorite shows.

For more information on David or to get a copy of his free report on "The 3 Things Men Are REALLY Looking For In A Relationship," go to

Location: Porter Ranch, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues, Dating/Being Single Support
Other Articles/News by David M. Matthews:

Getting Men To Stop "Fixing" Your Emotions


Question: My significant other does not know how to handle my emotion when I am depressed or sad. He said he wanted to fix things, but he does not know how, so now he tends to shy away. And his avoidance only makes me feel worse. Is there a way for us to arrive at a happy medium? —Rhonda Answer: This is a great question, and one that has ... Read more

Change Of Heart: Now She Wants Him Back


Question: My ex and I broke up several months ago after five years. Right after the break-up (which was pretty much mutual) I became desperate and needy, begging for him back, which obviously only pushed him away. Now that we've gone almost two months with no contact, we've started texting a very little bit here and there. I'm looking to get back ... Read more

Should She Pursue Former Crush...20 Years Later?


Question: I have an unusual situation here...a guy I served with in the military back in my twenties (we are in our mid 40's now), found me on Facebook two years ago (I was married then).  He often sent me texts: jokes, political things, discussions about our kids (we both have teenaged boys, he's divorced).  We discovered that we had crushes ... Read more

See More

Latest Expert Videos
Most Popular