In a recent shocking sermon, Rev. Cedric Miller, senior pastor of the Living Word Christian Fellowship Church in Neptune, N.J., told the leadership in his church that if they were married, they had to quit Facebook or resign their leadership roles. Rev. Miller has seen an exponential increase in the number of people in counseling who are there due to unfaithfulness after finding a "lost love" or old flame on Facebook and rekindling the romance. In just the past six months, 40 of the 1,100 members of the Living Word Christian Fellowship Church had such problems, according to a report on The Guardian.
While the blogosphere pontificates and the Twitterverse is all atwitter over this topic, I'd like to address this idea right here on YourTango and set this Reverend Miller may have his heart in the right place--namely, he's trying to stop unfaithfulness that has become not only epidemic in the USA but also in The Church! Unfortunately the Christian Church here in our country tends to turn a blind eye to infidelity, saying, "Oh that doesn't happen to our married couples. We're Christians." But it DOES! As a worker in the field, I personally know of cases where two pastors, married to others but in the same function like youth group or music, "fell in love" and left their spouses! But what's even more shocking is that their church did not discipline them or ask them to resign their position because they needed the ministry!
Since the Church does turn a blind eye and pretend that infidelity is not happening, they also don't offer practical teaching about how to have a healthy, loving marriage or what do to to affair-proof your marriage. Thus, the right reverend here may have a good intention, but he misses the mark when he blames Facebook for the affairs. Facebook is a tool. When we misspell a word on a note we're writing, is it the pencil's fault? Do we stop misspelling by throwing away all pencil's? No, the pencil is a tool, and in order to fix the problem of misspelling we have to learn how to spell. It is exactly the same here. If we are tempted to be unfaithful, is it Facebook's fault? Do we stop the temptation and create healthy, loving marriages by throwing away Facebook? NO! Facebook is a tool, and in order to avoid infidelity, WE NEED TO LEARN HOW TO HAVE A LOVING MARRIAGE! The cure to the epidemic we are experiencing is not to blame the tool, but to focus on teaching ethical Christian behavior such as honoring your vows and understanding what a committed, covenant marriage IS!
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