The truth is that these women developed an adaptive strategy because they were rewarded for it countless times and have now made it their identity. If they were being honest, they'd have to admit that there are times when they are absolutely free, flowing and feminine ... but those are traits that women like this fear most. So, while I'm sure that their identity as a "very Type A female" has rewarded them over and over again in certain ways, it has also created problems vis a vis their relationships with men.
Now back to the woman who posed the initial question: While I don't condone the behaviors of the men she's dated, both are predictable by-products of the identity she's assumed. Men who don't get their (occasionally insatiable) need for feminine radiance met inside a relationship have no choice but to look elsewhere — whether they cheat, disappear or just break up instead. Additionally, men who feel like they are constantly in a power struggle with a "very Type A female" may decide to tear their women down a few notches to tilt the balance of power back in their favor. As a matter of fact, they're probably better at that kind of aggressive behavior because they don't navigate the world via emotion and it's just a means to an end to them.
Again, I'm not making those actions right but I suspect you may agree that it's understandable — and most of all — predictable when you step back and look at it from this perspective. Your beliefs, habits and behaviors have a huge influence on the response you're getting in your relationships and results don't lie. This whole idea of a woman looking for an "alpha male" to drop her back into feminine may be the worst idea ever made by so many incredibly "otherwise" intelligent and very desirable women.
The reason why it's such a bad idea? Because it pre-supposes you need someone else to drop you back into feminine ... when the truth is once you address those old, outdated and ineffective assumptions that aren't working, reconnecting with your feminine is as easy as simply "going home." Plus, if you think you can somehow magically change an Alpha when he's been so rewarded for his behavior everywhere else, there may be some deluded thinking you may want to examine.
If you're struggling in your relationships because you're attracted to the bad boys or you used to think you might be a "very Type A female" also, feel free to connect with me. That belief hasn’t worked for you yet and it won’t ever work for you so when you’re ready to change it, I can help.