There is something that is so profound in human relationships, it has the power to turn around even the most challenging situation in an instant: vulnerability. Although some may mistake it for weakness, the truth is that vulnerability is actually your greatest strength. That's because standing in front of another person with a mix of raw honesty, radical authenticity and compassion may actually be one of the greatest acts of courage some people will ever perform.
The Power Of Vulnerability
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Let me give you an example of how vulnerability can shift the course of a relationship in a heart beat. I have a set of clients who are dangerously close to a divorce. It really is "make it or break it" time, so there is a definite sense of urgency. For the time being, they have both bought into the idea of withholding judgment — long enough to see how that goes during our work together in the coming weeks. (Talk about a tense situation.) In our last session, I helped them understand a recent argument from a new perspective, which was game-changing. When I heard what started it all, I helped them come to a new understanding of the real issue underlying the disagreement. Armed with this new information, I asked the husband what his wife really needed to know in the moment when the fight was raging.
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It was in that very instant when everything changed and even I was almost taken aback by the suddenness of the shift. I saw his face soften, his voice almost cracked and there was a different tonality in his voice as he said the words his wife had needed to hear from him for a long time. As I looked at her face, it was clear that I was not the only one taken aback. Then I asked her what her husband needed to know. Her response was heartfelt, raw and filled with an new level of humility. It was a huge and powerful turning point in their relationship — one of those moments when I was so humbled and grateful to do the work I am blessed to do. Keep reading...
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