There is something that is so profound in human relationships, it has the power to turn around even the most challenging situation in an instant: vulnerability. Although some may mistake it for weakness, the truth is that vulnerability is actually your greatest strength. That's because standing in front of another person with a mix of raw honesty, radical authenticity and compassion may actually be one of the greatest acts of courage some people will ever perform.
The Power Of Vulnerability
Let me give you an example of how vulnerability can shift the course of a relationship in a heart beat. I have a set of clients who are dangerously close to a divorce. It really is "make it or break it" time, so there is a definite sense of urgency. For the time being, they have both bought into the idea of withholding judgment — long enough to see how that goes during our work together in the coming weeks. (Talk about a tense situation.) In our last session, I helped them understand a recent argument from a new perspective, which was game-changing. When I heard what started it all, I helped them come to a new understanding of the real issue underlying the disagreement. Armed with this new information, I asked the husband what his wife really needed to know in the moment when the fight was raging.
It was in that very instant when everything changed and even I was almost taken aback by the suddenness of the shift. I saw his face soften, his voice almost cracked and there was a different tonality in his voice as he said the words his wife had needed to hear from him for a long time. As I looked at her face, it was clear that I was not the only one taken aback. Then I asked her what her husband needed to know. Her response was heartfelt, raw and filled with an new level of humility. It was a huge and powerful turning point in their relationship — one of those moments when I was so humbled and grateful to do the work I am blessed to do. Keep reading...
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