Your iPhone is killing your relationship.
On my commute to work this morning, I took a moment to look at the other passengers that were on the subway. There were a few people there with their children, others with friends, and many that were riding alone. But they all had something in common; everyone on the subway was plugged in to their technology. Although I often succumb to the allure of checking e-mail or Twitter on the ride to work, I was astonished by how universal this was. This made me wonder: if people are unable to be on the subway for a few stops without being plugged in, when do they disconnect from their technology? And how is this impacting their relationships and the ones they love?
One of the most common complaints we see in couples therapy is a lack of communication. The standard procedure is to teach the couple how to engage with one another in the office, and hope that they practice what they have learned when they are at home. But maybe the first step in therapy should be to assess how much time each partner spends using his or her technology. If the couple is glued to their iPhones, opportunities for open communication will be few and far between.
So I challenge you to put down your phone, turn off the computer and be available for your partner. If we can cut down on the amount of time we are plugged in, it might open us up to opportunities for real emotional connection. And who knows? You may find that unplugging is a quick fix for your relationship.
Try being unplugged with your partner, and then, connect with me at PhiladelphiaMFT.com to tell me how it went!