When you have something hard in your life, is it easy to share or should you keep it to yourself?
From our Dating Poll, research on Staying Power in your relationship.
Our first question on our poll was directed at our couples regarding communication. We posed the question around the idea that if you had to tell your partner something that would be upsetting to them, annoy them, anger or inconvenience them or it put you in a negative light, possibly shame, embarrassment, basically a very awkward uncomfortable conversation, whatever that might be for you and your partner, how would it go? #1.If you needed to tell your partner something important would you be able to? The choices were: A. Tell him or her at that moment. B.Wait until it was the right time. Or, C.Not at all.
Some couples we polled responded with the first choice, A. They all agreed they would say something immediately. The couples that said they would wait until it was the right time or not at all were the couples who had been together for more than five years. Interestingly, you would think that a couple would maintain the open and honest communication they had at the beginning of their relationship. But as relationships develop, so does the history and experience of past difficult discussions remain. Most couples who have been together for a while who have not established a "tell all" approach are couples who limit their perception of their partners growth, placing them in the "I know how you are" category. Unfortunately, this can set the relationship in cement, and what happens to cement over time? It cracks.
In other words you often assume knowing your partner so well that you can almost hear her response in your head regarding any circumstance. Instead, give your partner the credit that you see them as one who continues to evolve.
The disadvantaged, are those partners who relish in the thought they know their partner so well that they can predict their response. For the partner who is assumed it sends a message that they may be predictable, and although consistent in the fact that reactions to some circumstances are always going to be sensitive but also that their reaction IS always going to be sensitive.
In any relationship, highly sensitive subjects have their place and perhaps because of deep seeded moral values a subject such as animal experimentation will always be a trigger for a strong reaction. Yet, a couple who has staying power will confer with their partner and with the respect that he or she may find the information they are about to hear somewhat disturbing, prefacing it with, "It's possible that you may not like what I have to say, but I must tell you..." With this preface, a partner will hear “I have come to know your sensitivities; however, I also have come to know you as one who has an open mind." wow. So, to all of you dynamic duos remember, the next time, a not so palable topic comes up, that, perceiving your loved one's mind may be open has a better chance of an open mind.
Take the POLL now and let us know how did!