50 Things You Should Try For Hotter Sex
ProConnect

Preserving Your Family, in a Divorce

By

Preserving Your Family, in a Divorce
When marriages end, there is sadness and loss for everyone involved. What should you do?

When marriages end there is loss, sadness and devastation in trying to gather the pieces and rebuild your life and your children’s lives. Making it harder than it has to be is unnecessary and only prolongs the pain and agony of the inevitable process known as Divorce.The word itself sounds painful.

If hiring divorce attorneys seems to be the only way out then, family counselors and divorce mediators want you to bear in mind the following safety tips that will hopefully prevent you and your family from scars that result in bitterness and resentment, ultimately hindering the ability to move on toward a future that may have many gains including a new relationship with your children, a new love relationship and believe it or not, a civil and amicable relationship with your ex-spouse,

More from YourTango: Why Shutting Down Leads to Breakups

Keeping a journal of your ex-spouse’s behavior during the divorce helps you to strategize with your lawyer or show a pattern of behavior to the court. With mediation there are no lawyers and no journals to keep since you are both working toward a common ground which is preservation of the children and their well-being along with fairness over equitable distribution.  Seek the help of a mental-health professional if you’re dealing with feelings of depression, worthlessness or extreme anger. Although these feelings are normal, they can consume you if you don’t have support. Signs that the divorce is taking a toll can show up in sleeplessness, alcohol consumption, blaming or ridiculing others because of displaced anger.

Take care of your body by eating nutritious meals and exercising.  When you are emotionally overwrought, it is easy to let such things go. However, it will be 10 times harder to deal with the strain of a bad divorce if you neglect your health. Go back to the days when you were single and re-invent yourself with old interests or new hobbies. The more you stay active the more alert you will be and the more interested you will be, in others as they will be in you.

More from YourTango: Dating: Should You Date Your Spouse?

Seek temporary visitation/custody arrangements at the very beginning of your divorce. Though some couples can make these arrangements between themselves, this sort of cooperation is rare during a bad divorce. Making these arrangements right away can stop your spouse from denying you access to your children later. Arrange to exchange your children in a neutral, public place. This may help you to avoid uncomfortable scenes during exchanges. It can also provide you with witnesses if your spouse becomes violent.

Stay neutral when you talk to your children about the divorce, unless you need to provide details for their safety. If you try to turn your children against your spouse, you may harm your children emotionally. Plus, your spouse may use this behavior against you in court. There is never a good reason to bad mouth your child’s parent, remember they have a different and separate relationship with them than you do. Identify, list and photograph family heirlooms and community property, such as furniture, electronics, photo albums and china, as soon as you think a divorce may be on the horizon. Bitter spouses often remove such things from the family home during divorce and then claim they never existed. This way, you will have proof and some hope of fairness when you split assets later.

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Recent Expert Posts
Staying Dry

Letting Go Is Hard To Do

Healing your heart after divorce or loss of a spouse is worth the effort. Letting go is hard to do.

cozy up

Showing Love Through Touch

Touch is so incredibly important in relationships.

happiest

Listen Up, Darling: A Sex Kitten Is Never Hangry or Tired

Recently I shared eight surprising traits of a sex kitten. Each of those traits are ones that ...

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS