ProConnect

Are you Oral?

By

Are you Oral?
Most couples don't think they have any issues communicating, but most do. Communication is learned..

Do you know your partner's communication style? Many say yes, but most couples argue because they are not listening to how their partner is expressing him or herself because all they hear is the content and not the process of what they are feeling.

 

Interpersonal communication is just as much about body language as well as verbal language. As you and your partner exchange in conversation, what do you notice? Many relationships have fallen apart because one of you misinterprets the communication from the other. If you both learned to be more aware of how each of you express thoughts and feelings there would be less hurt and less confusion.
 

Communication is a learned skill, originating from the family you grew up in. If your partner does not communicate in the style you do, or may be familiar with, take a look at his or her family when all of you get together. Or ask your partner how everyone in his or her family communicates among each other. Perhaps much of the communication was transmitted through either sarcasm, or backhanded compliments, masking vulnerability. Or communication was dramatic, everything was a federal case laced in alarm and urgency, whether it was the tragic news of a car accident or a favorite sweater with a pulled piece of yarn.  Having the attention and being heard came through like an Italian Opera. Or do you notice if his family lacks the ability to communication at all? They speak to each other as though they are regular customers at the local deli, not family members. “How are you?” Good,” “And you.” “Good” and that’s the extent of it for pretty much the rest of the holiday meal. Investigative reporters, they will never be.
 

Here is an exercise:  It’s known as “Speaker/Listener”. When you have something to say that needs to be heard, say it to your partner, and then have your partner repeat back to you even paraphrase if necessary, just as long as what you said has been fully understood. Don’t take it personally, the lesson here is learning how you deliver your message and how it is received. It takes time to develop communication between people effectively.

Whichever the style you communicate and the style your partner communicates, will determine staying power. So if this means both of you develop a complimentary style to express, listen, speak and be heard, then develop it soon, or the words you say, will be your last.

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Recent Expert Posts
Cocktail Lady

Pick The Right Guy Why Hot Guys Don't Last

How to tell the difference between Mr. Right and Mr. Last Night. Find out when you're getting warm.

Gay Dating

7 Things I've Learned About Men As a Matchmaker

You'll be surprised to see which myths about men have been busted!

Spa Retreat

The Pursuit of Peace

Peace is a journey not a destination. It represents a gift you give yourself.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS