5 Reasons You Should Spill Your Secrets To Your Guy

1. The partner is put on equal footing with the addict.  Many partners decide to stay in the relationship, even after sexual betrayal.  At the same time, it is only fair to the partner to allow her/him to have all the facts.

2. It eliminates deep secrets withheld from the partnership. Intimacy is based on vulnerability, authenticity, honesty and trust. Deep secrets will erode any chance couples have to rebuild intimacy.  At the root of sex addiction is a problem with intimacy, so one critical way to address the problem is to build intimacy through honesty and truth. 4 Things You May Not Know About Sex Addiction

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3. The partner finds his/her footing again. Discovering a significant other's sex addiction can feel like the floor was ripped out underneath a partner. Partners frequently assume the worst, so a disclosure helps a partner know where the bottom of the addict's behavior lies. While extremely painful, feeling grounded allows opportunities to move forward.

4. It can help the addict or secret-keeper recover. Exposing secrets to a loved one in a guided manner can be very freeing and can actually help the addict integrate the secret and shameful parts of their lives with the part of themselves they want others to see.

5. Trust will be restored. Trust, particularly towards the beginning of this process, comes through action not just words. Going through the formal disclosure process is a significant step for addicts in moving towards relational healing. What Is Sex Addiction & Can It Be Overcome?

These are but a few of the reasons for going through a formal disclosure process.  I caution you again: though it can be invaluable in a relationship to go through the formal disclosure process, it will bring up pain. It should not be attempted without the guidance of a professional who can help you through the process. This process is not for everyone, so it should only be considered with the careful guidance of a professional trained in the formal disclosure process.

Think of it like this: when you have a seriously infected wound, you need medical assistance to open up the wound, clean out the infection and stitch you back up. While that process is painful in the moment, it is the best way to keep the injury from causing even further damage.

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I hope this was a helpful introduction to the disclosure process. If you have any questions feel free to email me or call me at (310) 415-5732.