If your philosophy about online dating is that you don’t want to turn someone off with your profile, you’re doing it all wrong! You cannot be all things to all people. It’s much better to be specific and memorable than vague and forgettable. So, if your profile consists of a series of juxtapositions like, “I’m just as comfortable in high heels as I am in sweats.” Or “I like to go out and have fun, but I also enjoy a quiet night at home,” you can consider your profile completely unmemorable and resolve yourself to having an empty inbox.
Think about how quickly you sort through items when you’re doing a search to buy something online—generally 30 seconds or less. That’s the same amount of time you have to make an impression on an online dater before they click past you and move on. Not sure how hot your profile is? Dear Mrs D is now offering FREE 15-minute profile evaluations.
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If Valentine’s Day is making you anxious about dating, here are 6 changes you need to make today to turn those profile views into messages overnight.
1. Shorten It – The only thing worse than a sparse profile that says nothing specific about you is a long profile that says everything about you. You’re writing an advertisement for yourself, not a memoir of your life. Cut to the chase. An ideal “about me” description is only about 3 short paragraphs. If you can’t get your point across in that length you might be saying too much.
2. Let Your Pictures Do The Talking –We’ve all heard the saying, a picture is worth a thousands words, so make sure your photos are clearly saying something about your personality and the things you enjoy. A pretty picture is nice, but if it doesn’t reveal who you are put it in a frame and send it to your Grandma, not to a potential mate.
3. Scrap The Negativity - Most of my clients come to me with a profile that talks more about what they don’t want than what they do. Eliminate any demands about what they must do or cannot do and any rants about what you hate (or what bugged you about your ex).
4. Tell A Story – Rather than write a list of the all your amazing qualities and favorite activities, tell a brief (and hopefully funny) story about a time when you used those skills. Not only will it make your profile stand out more, but it will give a potential date something to talk about in an email to you.
5. Broaden Your Ideal Date Specifications – I never thought daters paid much attention to what you claim to be looking for until my husband said that he almost didn’t write to me because my profile said I was looking for men 1 year to 10 years older than he was. A couple of years, inches, or pounds do not really matter in the long run. In your criteria for a mate, you should lean towards being more open so that you can make the determination if someone is worth pursuing once the email comes in.