We all get nervous on first dates; it's a natural part of the dating process. However, you can avoid the three most fatal dating mistakes, which will help set the stage for successful dating experiences in the future. Avoiding these three mistakes will make your date smile wider, laugh harder, and keep him/her wanting you more and more.
Mistake 1: Poor Manners. You're sitting at the table with an attractive date. The conversation is flowing well, and each of you feels intrigued by the other. You're thinking, "This is a person I would love having in my life." Then suddenly, one of the following things occur:
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- He utters a few curse words to punctuate a story he's sharing.
- She picks food from her teeth with her fingers.
- He begins dominating the conversation and oversharing.
- She takes a cell phone call, responds to a text, beginning a conversation with someone else on her electronic device.
Nothing kills chemistry faster than poor manners. Let's review some common courtesies that often go forgotten:
- Leave the locker room talk in the locker room. Few dates, men or women, are impressed with a sailor's mouth. When used energetically, curse words hold negative energy. So, when you choose to let those salty words fly, it puts a negative energy into the space, which is rude and disrespectful to your date.
- Practice good table manners. Be mindful to use toothpicks, napkins, and chew with your mouth closed! 25 Best Bits Of Dating Advice From Mom
- Allow a give and take in the conversation. If you dominate the conversation with oversharing, the other person will not have the space to ask questions or share in a natural way. So relax. Talk a little and listen. Let the other person share or ask. Then share more. Give and take in conversation is so important, and reveals whether or not you can give and take in other areas of the relationship. 5 Dating Tips For Introverts
Save the texting or cell phone calls for another time. The only exception to this rule is if you are a parent of young children, and need to remain in touch in case of an emergency. If an emergency does occur, the polite thing to do is to apologize to your date and say, "I'm so sorry for this interruption — this is an emergency with my child. Let me step out to take this call, and I will be right back."
This is a very different situation than just having a casual chit-chat with your children who want to catch you up on their day while you're on a date, especially a first date.
For example, Jon had not been out on a date for a long time. He finally met a woman, Lydia, that he thought was amazing, and asked her out. During the first date, his teenaged daughter called him just to chit-chat.
Instead of saying, "Dear, I'm on a date right now, Daddy will call you later," he proceeded to have a more lengthy conversation with his daughter than with Lydia. He even included sharing with his daughter, "Oh yeah, you'd like this lady I'm with...," and proceeded to talk about Lydia's appearance.
Thus, Jon effectively communicated to Lydia that he didn't have boundaries around his role as a father or his role as a single man. He proved to Lydia that he was not able to simply schedule another time to talk with his daughter. No one enjoys having a third party on a date, even if that person is joining in electronically. Needless to say, Lydia did not accept a second date with Jon.
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