(4) Gain Emotional Closure.
Whether it is a face-to-face meeting, an email that gets sent or not (you don't always have to send the letter to get closure), a phone call, or deeper reflection, find a way to make peace with the feelings that the break-up evokes.
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If your ex is not someone who can acknkowledge or validate your feelings or if there was any physical violence or verbal abuse, it is best to use one of the methods that does not involve contact with the preson to gain closure.
In such a case, you might want to write a letter. Before writing the letter, open your emotional energies with this simple "Open Heart Movement" qi gong demonstration to empower you to deal with the feelings that may reside in your heart.
Once your heart energies are open and settled, write the letter and express all you desire including a reflection on the lessons you learned.
Next, imagine yourself as your ex and write a letter as if you are him or her and say all the things you need to hear from the person in the letter.
Put both letters aside for a few days and let the emotions settle. If you feel a sense of closure, great, throw the letters away.
If you still feel unsettled, add on to each letter until you get to a place where you feel complete and then get rid of the letters.
Toss them in the recylce bin with the feeling of liberation. Burn them in the fireplace and allow yourself to feel lighter.
If your ex is someone who is capable of acknowledging your feelings and validating them, then it might be helpful to gain closure in person or by phone, or share an email or letter that you write.
Keep it simple and just recount what the relationship was for you and how you feel about it ending. You might also state what you need from the person to move forward.
However, be sure not to fall into the trap of using closure to linger in the relationship or subject yourself to more pain in overestimating your ex's capacity for empathy. Remember that your ex may be hurting also and may not be in a place to be supportive in parting.
(5) Move Your Body to Increase Sertonin and Endorphins, The "Feel Good" Brain Chemicals.
All exercise is helpful when dealing with a life stressor such as break up, but exercise that also encourages you to liberate the energy of emotions and heal the heart are especially helpful. The arts of tai chi and qi gong are gentle forms of movement that create powerful shifts in the psyche and with your biochemistry, while also toning your body.
These healing movement arts can also be powerful tools in fighting depression and rebalancing brain chemistry that can become unsettled after a stressful life event.
A less than 15 minutes workout can be accessed free at Simversisty.com With each movement, affirm to yourself, "I am capable of rediscovering love with someone new--and am entitled to a miracle in finding the correct partner for me!"
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For additional strategies about how to deal with break-ups, take this fun free webinar from Simversity.com