According to the founder of Imago therapy, Harville Hendrix, when we enter this stage of romantic love, it appears we are able to attach to our partner without seeing any of the negative characteristics until later, when PEA starts to fade. PEA is not meant to last; it only lasts long enough to help us attach. When we fall in love, we are unable to see the unconscious factors that drew us to our partners. It appears nature helps us to sufficiently bond before we begin to see the negative traits of our partners. Hendrix believes that we draw to us an Imago match who has the positive and negative traits of our primary caretakers. This person has the ability to help us heal the unresolved pain from our childhood that inevitably resurfaces in our marriages and relationships. How To Fall Back In Lust
Do you ever wonder why your new partner has a lot of the same characteristics as the last partner you had? Does it feel like you have experienced that frustration before? It appears that all chronic repetitive frustration is rooted in unfinished business from our childhood and the defenses that we constructed back then. We are drawing to us exactly what we need to heal. And it appears that all of this is taking place unconsciously and nuerally in our brains. It seems our brain is attempting to recreate the conditions of our childhood in order to heal them. It also appears your partner is the most suited to help you heal because they are similar to your early caretakers in emotionally significant ways. It also makes sense that if we are wounded in a relationship, we must heal in a relationship. So whether you are in a committed relationship or just bitten by the love bug, know that it appears you are right where nature intended you to be… and this is what's really going on in love.
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Cynthia Thrasher is a licensed psychotherapist and a Certified Imago Couples Therapist in private practice in Bradenton, Fla. She specializes in individual and couples therapy. Cynthia can be reached at 941-756-3385.
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