It seems to me that most naggers don't actually know they are nagging. Here's an objective definition of nagging from the most authorized dictionary publishers:
- Constantly harassing someone to do something; persistently painful or worrying (Oxford Dictionary)
- Complaining or criticizing; describes an unpleasant feeling that continues for a long period of time (Cambridge Dictionary)
To dig a bit deeper, what is considered constantly? What is considered a long period of time? To my surprise, repeating something three time a day is classified as nagging. Younger generations can tolerate four to six times a day, while older generations can't stand more than three times. (Maybe the younger generation has got used to their mums?)
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Here are a few excerpts on nagging:
- "I won’t like if my boyfriend keeps nagging. He's not my Dad"-Female, 19*
- "Nagging is annoying! Obviously if I need to be nagged then I don't want to do whatever I'm being nagged about. I'd just start taking my distance with the nagger."-Female, 25*
- "If my girlfriend keeps nagging, I'll just tell her to shut up."-Male, 28*
- "I’'ll seriously ask her to stop."-Male, 31*
Nagging will make people resentful and defensive. It's disrespectful, as in nagging puts the naggers in the role of parents. Who wants to be nagged like a child? Not many people. However, I can't deny that for some people, nagging works, but only for a short while.
- "I will feel guilty if I'm nagged about something I ought to do, but I don't want to. For the first few times I will do it, but not for good, definitely."-Female, 26**
And have you noticed that the more you nag, the more your partner avoids you? It turns out nothing gets done, and you two are withdrawn from the intimacy, both emotionally and physically. The more withdrawal, the more you nag. It's such a vicious cycle that goes on and on. The longer you are stuck in the endless black hole of nagging, the deeper you dig for the grave of your love life.
So quit nagging today! Search for more positive ways to express your concern on laundries, kitchen chaos, dirty bathtub stuck with hair and your exploding garbage can. As the title suggests, nagging just won't get you anywhere.
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**Result generated from a poll of 30 person, aged from 19 to 35.
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