Let's begin by exploring together what happened to women over the last forty years, and where it has left us today ...
When feminism came along, it empowered women to fight for their rights and to stand up for themselves, screaming out that self-love was what mattered most. The supposed love that too many women were living with was without substance and was, in fact, really only oppression. The patriarchal world that had, up until then, dictated their every choice was suddenly denounced as many women ditched their bras, rejected sexual comments, and viewed lipstick and lingerie as frivolous and exploitive.
Many started to view those who dyed their hair blonder or wore their bras tighter as "adversaries." Demanding that their own identities finally be heard, many feminists were angry and tired of being demoralized. They knew what their foremothers had gone through, and most simply wanted to change the world for women to come.
However, the world viewed them as angry men-haters, and many were, in fact. Many also assumed that those with the loudest voices were lesbians. It left many strong and determined women completely confused about their own beauty, love, sexuality and life itself. Nevertheless, they fought on.
At the same time that this revolution was occuring, another group of women began to emerge: those who depended all the more upon their looks and sexuality in order to achieve status and success. While peering over at the strong and mighty advances of the feminists, their own anger brewed. Many felt ashamed of the way they'd allowed men to manipulate them, yet they depended upon the attention and fringe benefits that it brought. Deep down, most secretly worried about their own future, when their looks would dwindle and their breasts would sag:
Would they still be beautiful? Would they still be taken care of? Would they still be loved?
Too fearful to look back and even more afraid to look forward, many got caught in the trap of disillusionment as they panicked about their beauty, love, and life itself.
A civil war was looming and the lines were drawn. Those who rejected beauty as their means to advance and those who used it, with the rest of women caught somewhere in the middle. The terrified women, left on the sidelines, were mostly dominated mothers and grandmothers, who were so shocked and nervous over what was happening that they clung to their aprons all the more. These women figured that if they just buried their heads in the sand, cooked another meal, darned another sock and pretended that everything was just fine, that everything would turn out that way.
These women were so self-deprived, most of their needs whether sexual, emotional or intellectual were often overlooked. These were the women who had lost their passion. These were women who felt totally powerless. These were many of our mothers.
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