By the time I turned 25, I was married with two precious daughters of my own. Based on my past, I had decided that the needs of my family came before my own. I decided that the needs of the "unit" had to come before the needs of any one person within that unit.
For a few years, I was happier than I had ever been. I had more love in one day from my children than any amount of love I had ever received over the course of my life. Nevertheless, my weight continued to climb and I had found myself sometimes crying for no reason.
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I couldn't understand why with a husband, two great kids and a beautiful home on the water, I couldn't sustain my happiness. I watched late night television shows, once the kids were sleeping, and hot fudge sundaes gave me far more pleasure than sex. I hated my clothes, or maybe I hated my body in my clothes. I didn't want anyone to see me from "before," when I was thin and beautiful.
I was up, down, happy and sad. I had convinced myself that if I lost weight, renovated the kitchen, got a new engagement ring and purchased the latest model minivan, I would surely find and maintain my happiness ... but it never happened. Empowered Women: Unite Under Self-Love
I lost the weight, renovated, got a new huge diamond and a top of the line minivan. But, they all only sustained my joy for a period of time. Eventually, I would find myself staring off into space wondering, "what's next?"
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Finally, in my thirties, after leaving my husband, walking away from all my material possessions and setting out to prove to the world that I was smart, successful, and loveable, I self-published my first book. I was certain extreme happiness would soon find me.