Self, Heartbreak

2 Behaviors That Stop You From Getting Over A Breakup (& 3 Simple Ways To Finally Do So)

Photo: unsplash / Morgan Alley
Negative Behaviors That Prevent You From Getting Over A Breakup & How To Get Over Someone After Breaking Up

In the aftermath of breaking up comes the feelings of sadness, regret, isolation, loneliness, and an overall sense of pain.

At this point, you're desperate to figure out how to get over someone so you can move on and heal your broken heart.

Since our natural instinct is to avoid pain, getting over a breakup can lead to developing beliefs and habits designed to protect you.

RELATED: 5 Quick Steps To Learn How To Get Over A Breakup Fast

But, in the long run, your heartbreak gives you a disservice.

In the aftermath of a breakup, be aware of 2 negative thought patterns that can bring you down.

1. Avoidance

This is where you get into thinking things like "All men are the same," "All the good guys are taken," or "All guys are creeps."

These thoughts give you the excuse to avoid dating, thus avoiding any chance of getting involved in another relationship which might lead you to heartbreak. The result is isolation and loneliness.

2. Self-blame

Another dangerous turn to take is down the road of beating yourself up. You may try to justify the breakup by unnecessarily holding yourself accountable by finding some flaw in yourself that you believe turn him off.

These thoughts kill your sense of self-worth and keep you feeling insecure.

But, by avoiding these thoughts, you can evaluate your lost relationship and grow from it.

RELATED: Was Your Ex Literally The Worst? 5 Ways You Can Bounce Back And Move On

Instead, here are 3 simple but genius actions that will get you out of the rut of feeling rejected.

1. Remember the reasons why you broke up

When getting over someone, create a list of all the things you didn't like about your ex. Think of things in his attitude that bothered you or in some ways that he didn't treat you as you would have preferred.

Focus on all the was wrong in the relationship. This will help avoid falling into the feelings of lost romance you experienced while in the relationship.

2. Create a list of your best qualities

If you're feeling low and having trouble with getting over it ending, ask your close friends or family members to share what they think are your best qualities.

Don't dismiss what they say by thinking they're only saying those things to be nice. Who are you to make a judgment about their intentions?

In general, people don't give others compliments because their intention is simply to make them feel better. Think about it. Do you?

3. Don't regret the relationship

There are no mistakes. Yes, you heard me right. Think of it this way: A mistake is an experience in your life that helps you remember more of who you really are.

Now is your opportunity to get clear on your identity and build your sense of self-worth. Take time to invest in yourself. Chances are, part of you got lost in the relationship, and that is why it failed.

You deserve nothing but the best of what love has to offer. Take time now to fall in love with yourself.

Now that you're aware of how to get over a breakup, it's time to take charge of your healing.

The truth is, a better relationship will come. So don't look back.

Getting over an ex is difficult but the heartbreak won't last and you'll experience brighter days ahead.

New opportunities for you to grow and form new relationships will develop if you are open to them. So don't hide in your sorrow.

Be fearless and embrace the change.

RELATED: 4 Tried-And-True Tips That’ll Help You Get Over Your Ex

Craig Nielson serves as a Professional Coach, Speaker, and Educator helping women who feel insecure with self-doubt to becoming fully empowered with self-confidence. Learn more and get a free consultation and e-book.

This article was originally published at Bliss Babe. Reprinted with permission from the author.