After many years of trying to make the relationship work, you will be unable to see the reality of how unhealthy your situation truly has become. You do not see how much you are allowing your unemotional partner to remain unhealthy when you do everything to make the relationship work. When you are consumed with making things work you neglect your own needs, wants, and desires with the hope that someday you will have a loving relationship. Unfortunately, that “someday” never comes and you find yourself dried up emotionally to the point of dying inside before you get help for yourself.
The bottom line is if you are working harder, taking on more responsibility, or showing more affection than your mate (and your mate has the capability to do more), something is definitely wrong. Your mate is taking advantage of you and you need to look in the mirror rather than point the finger. It is always easier to point the finger believing your mate is the problem for not getting fulfillment in the relationship. The truth is, you will never be fulfilled if you look to your mate for the things you did not receive as a child. The reason for this is that you cannot fill an emptiness created in childhood through an adult relationship. You must resolve your childhood emptiness before you can fully accept and receive the love from another adult. Both mates need to learn how to mutually give and receive love to have a satisfying relationship. Even if one person struggles with showing love, get professional help to understand why you either cannot show love or must live with the one who cannot show you love. Get a copy of my book, When Your Mate Has Emotionally Checked Out for more details of what to do. You can go to my web site for more resources and my email to contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org or receive counseling if you are able to come to our clinic at Masterpeace Counseling in Tecumseh, Michigan.
Excerpt from the book:
When Your Mate Has Emotionally Checked Out, Craig A. Miller 2006©