When there is no emotion, there is no affection
Signs of affection such as tender hugs, kisses, and touches are all outward expressions of inward emotions. Unfortunately, a life without emotion creates relationships without affection. The unemotional mate lacks the ability to give affection because they do not have the emotion to give, and there is not an understanding why affection is important to make a person feel loved. The lack of affection from an unemotional mate inevitably creates distance within the relationship, eroding the emotional union and destroying any potential for emotional growth as a couple. Additionally, lack of affection has long-lasting, devastating effects on the emotional well-being of current family members and those in future generations. Being in a relationship without emotion and affection is a lonely and agonizing way to live. Meaningful relationships are based on foundational needs such as being loved, accepted, respected, and appreciated. How you express those needs to one another will greatly influence the success or destruction of the relationship.
How to change your situation
The question is not, how you change your mate, the question is, why are you allowing yourself to be so lonely. I am NOT advocating divorce, just the opposite, I want you to learn about your own value and stand up for what you need in a radical way. People that exist in a lonely relationship typically were raised in lonely or unaffectionate home with caregivers that did not know how to love. As a consequence, you are conditioned to living with the same thing. Your job now is to work on your own issues to stand up to what you are still being handed. Seek professional counseling with a counselor that has experience with identifying issues regarding lack of love from childhood and how to literally transform your heart from lack to love. Get a copy of my book, When Your Mate Has Emotionally Checked Out for more details of what to do. You can go to my professional web site for more resources and my email to contact me. Or go to my counseling clinic web site if you are able to come to our clinic.
Excerpt from: When Your Mate Has Emotionally Checked Out