Find out if and why you are feeling alone in our relationships- and what to do about it.
Loneliness has become an increasing problem in our relationships today. In fact, if you are living in a marriage without receiving love or being able to express heartfelt thoughts and feelings, you struggle to have a meaningful relationship. Heartache and loneliness results from disappointment of not having your dreams fulfilled by the most important people in your life. Everyone yearns and desires in a relationship: to be loved, accepted, respected, and appreciated by another person. However, when you don’t receive those desires your dreams can be crushed. It would be natural to dream of having these basic human desires met by your mate, but disappointing to have those dreams crushed because your mate is incapable of fulfilling them.
Not true to yourself
When you live with a mate that is either unavailable to meet your emotional needs or unable to communicate positive, tender emotions, you are living with common and subtle forms of disrespect that have often been misunderstood and are devastating problems that can be hard to identify. Most of the time, the unemotional mate is unaware of his or her lack of emotions, which leaves the other mate struggling to get emotional needs met. When you live without the opportunity to communicate what is in your heart and mind, you will not feel loved, respected, and accepted. If you feel trapped or unable to change your situation, you can eventually believe your only choices are to resign yourself to live in a loveless, unsatisfying relationship or decide to become one more divorce statistic.
You are not true to yourself if you believe for one minute you must exist in a relationship without love or emotions. When you only exist in a relationship, you become physically, spiritually, and emotionally unfaithful to yourself, the relationship, and to God. You are not true to what you want and need, not true to what God wants or needs from you, not true to what your mate wants or needs from you, and not living up to what your children deserve from you! You may believe you are having a loving and satisfying relationship, despite the loneliness you feel. Unfortunately, you probably are not fully aware of what the truth is for your life. Like so many others, you may not know what a meaningful, loving, satisfying, and close relationship looks or feels like. As a result, you settle for living with less of a relationship than what you really deserve.
Without emotions you will not have a loving relationship
Without expressing emotions you will not have the ability to establish or maintain a meaningful relationship with love and respect. “What is a meaningful relationship?” you may ask. It’s when you can express what is inside your heart or mind and just be yourself without being afraid of rejection. It’s when you can freely share thoughts, dreams, sorrows, and tears, believing they are accepted and respected without question. It’s when you feel safe, secure, and loved inside your heart, like being wrapped in a warm, cozy blanket on a cold winter’s night. Those feelings shared from one heart to another are the very interactions that generates a sense of personal acceptance, worth, and importance that goes beyond ordinary lip service.
When your thoughts and feelings are not allowed or accepted, you do not feel loved or respected as a person and you begin to question your own self-worth. How worthy you feel about yourself is often related to how your feelings are received from the important people in your life. The relationship can blossom or be shattered by your partner’s response to the emotions you express.
You may desire love, acceptance, and meaningful conversation. The feelings generated by the burdens and treasured moments in your life are meant to be shared, not hidden away where they lose their meaning. Having a tender moment happen in your life is only half the significance. Sharing the tender moment is the other half. Sharing life’s difficulties with someone is how burdens become lighter and healing takes place. There is a verse in the Bible that says, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10). Sharing what is in your heart lifts the heaviness and brings encouragement to the soul to carry you through to fight the next battle. If you are unable to experience what you feel and think within your heart and mind, you will struggle to feel loved and respected in any relationship, even in your relationship with God.
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