Most likely, if you are in pain, you seek peace. Perhaps you seek joy. Maybe you seek neutrality. You probably seek being loved. Be honest. You are in pain because you received the opposite of what your heart desires. If you can clarify what your heart desire’s in one word, you are on your way to experiencing what you seek.
Infidelity is a sign that something is off. It may be that the person who lied to you had a problem long before he or she met you. It may be that you and that person co-created a problem over time. Either way, you will have to decide if healing the relationship is desired, or if healing yourself and moving on is preferred. This is an individual choice that will require time, and support from a nonjudgmental witness such as a counselor or coach. If your positive purpose is your focus, you will arrive at the right answer for yourself in good time. If the problem remains your focus, you will have trouble leaving the devastation, disappointment, and frustration cycles behind.
3. Embrace the Heart-Ache
When we are hurt, we may find a tendency to blame, run, fight, judge, or explain. If we can stop, and fully feel the heartache, we will be surprised at what is possible. I have worked with client after client who aimed to find resolution by changing the mind or creating a new life. The problem remained somewhere in that person’s heart. While changing the mind is a necessary part of healing, and changing one’s life is sometimes the best action to take, facing the hurt is also necessary for a full healing. When you step fully into the sensation in your heart, beyond thought and explanation, the feeling begins to shift.
I suggest doing this with the help of an expert coach or therapist. It can feel scary and overwhelming at first. However, when approached form start to finish, with a guide, this act will change your heart’s experience. You will begin to re-find peace.
Part II: Tools to Repair Infidelity
Now that you have started on the road to healing your broken-heart, some of you feel relieved. Some of you feel discouraged, however. You had glimpses of hope but the pain returned. You are not alone. This article will explain to you what you must do next..
Broken-heart help is real. Practice is what creates success over time. Repeat the steps out lined in part one daily: gratitude, clarification of purpose, and embracing heart-ache, with a counselor or coach. You may choose to practice these three steps many times a day!
In addition, you can now add in several more practices. Healing from infidelity is possible more quickly with the practice of particular tools listed below.
1. Request Helpful Qualities from Life
Ask life to help you add the qualities of experience you prefer. For example, ask for more laughter, joy, comforting, compassion, or whatever else you need. Just tell life what it is that you need. Life can help. It may take a moment or it may take a few months. Sometimes it takes longer. Life will offer you help.