He planned the romantic engagement and you now hold the ring and the promise of forever literally in the palm of your hand. Your mind is racing with thoughts of your big day and you can’t wait to share the news with friends and family. This is it! You got your man! You find yourself fantasizing about flowers, invitations, guest list, cake and where the nuptials will be displayed to the world! Next thing you know, the initial excitement dies down and it’s time to get to work on the wedding of your childhood dreams. You call your sister or best friend and acknowledge their importance to you with the title of maid of honor and make arrangements to begin the planning. From then on, it’s all about the wedding day and how to make it perfect! Where’s the groom-to-be? On the couch watching sports, using your wedding mags as a place mat for his chips and dip! He grunts with approvals of music and favors as you ramble off from the brochures you picked up at that bridal show you went to. Suddenly, this feels more like a nagging session with you trying to get him more involved in the planning of the wedding. He’s thinking his job is done and now all he needs to do is show up and say “I do.” Obviously he didn’t get the memo that clearly stated when, where and how he needs to be involved in the planning. Oops, you realize you forgot to send out that memo so you take a step back and single handedly figure out how to get him as excited as you are. Here are a few tips for you to consider:
Tip 1: Just say “no” to nagging! Instead of trying to get him to do things you want him to do, ask him about what parts of the planning interests him. Does he like music? Ask that he find a few different Dj’s and bands that he might want to use. Maybe he likes getting friends together… ask him to make a list of all the people he wants to invite. See where I’m going with this? Help him help you by refraining from nagging and supporting him to get excited about what he enjoys.
Tip 2: Reward him with gifts of you! When he does something for the wedding, reassure him by showing him how happy it makes you! …and when you’re happy, he’s happy because you shower him with affection and intimate attention that blows him away!!!
Tip 3: Help him plan a guys night of planning. Sit down with him and help him make a list of his groomsmen. Then suggest they have a “guys night” where half the time they do their guy things and half the time they discuss where and when they’ll get their tuxedos.
Tip 4: When he does something “wrong,” give him two compliments about what he’s done right first, then gently explain how your way is better for you both.
Tip 5: Remember that the wedding is just ONE day and if you plan on being together forever, NEVER turn a mountain into a mole hill when it comes to wedding planning.