At this time it feels like I’m expanding to be a bigger container emotionally. My lingam (penis or wand of light) feels charged with power and desire and energy as I embrace and enter her. I imagine that my energetic body extends beyond my skin whether it be my fingers or my wand and my partner can feel me deeply inside her.
I used self-pleasuring to release most of my life only dimly aware of how it related to the buildup and release of feelings. I would use it to “go to sleep” emotionally and avoid owning my personal power. My need to ejaculate fit all the criteria of an addiction. When feelings came up it was much easier to “jerk off” and not care about anything for a while.
If the urge to ejaculate is great then a valid choice is to release and celebrate it together as an intimate, magical and powerful bonding event. Enjoy it to the fullest. Just after release is a wonderful time for your partner to say words that you’ve always wanted to hear. Such as; I am so proud of you, I admire your integrity, etc. (You can make this request ahead of time.)
Discomfort symptoms associated with congestion or blockage in the genitals are easily and quickly remedied with a simple breath exercise of squeezing the PC muscles tightly and drawing the energy in your balls up to your brain with your breath. Hold briefly, then release your breath and muscles and repeat. I generally only need to do this about three times.
Over time the need to focus on technique lessens as lovemaking becomes a relaxed and unhurried expansion versus a buildup of excitement and tension. The ecstatic union fosters a pleasure that is not concentrated in the genitals, but experienced as blissful connection in your entire body.
I will discuss actual techniques another time, but for now realize that ejaculatory choice has great physical and emotional benefits and it can be a key part of slowing down to enjoy sensations and to be more fully present for your beloved.