Intimacy in 1 Minute — After Porn or Sex Addiction

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Intimacy in 1 Minute — After Porn or Sex Addiction
Date Minute, an exercise to rebuild connection. You just need 1 minute per day for 7 days.
  • TIP 1: Don't forget, to break a habit, you have to make a new habit and getting through all seven days is challenging — try to "anchor" your Date Minute practice to an existing habit - one you do every day — like brushing your teeth at night.
  • TIP 2: Use the timer on your smart phone or borrow one from one of your kid's games.
  • TIP 3: Be aware of but don't judge your thoughts —everything is food for growth. Remember, you are looking for "information, not ammunition." What are your feelings even around reading about Date Minute? Are you scared? It's okay, if this applies to you. Tell that scared part of you that you are safe right here and right now.

The Exercise

  • Stand or sit facing each other. Get comfortable. Start the timer . . . and look and smile at each other - you might even want to laugh, so laugh. There are no mistakes in this exercise.
  • Now hold each other's hands, gaze into each other's eyes.
  • Be mindful that most of our communication comes through body language and the eyes, not the mouth - so emote with your eyes and body: loving kindness, compassion, safety, vulnerability, intimacy, and love.
  • Be mindful of how you are feeling—the thoughts, the voices, the physical sensations. If you're scared, be scared. Just know that you are safe. Watch with complete fascination where your mind tries to go. Gently bring it back to loving kindness, compassion, safety, vulnerability, intimacy and love.
  • Take deep breaths and try to match the rhythm of your partner’s breath. In together and out together while looking at each other.
  • Stare into each other’s eyes without speaking. Try to connect with what you are seeing, the truth in the person you are looking at.
  • Feel the energy between the two of you.

Benefits
One of the benefits of looking into your partner's eyes at close range and breathing together is the exchange of pheromones, the sexual scents that induce arousal. When you are engaged in activities that promote pheromone release, you grow closer and develop a stronger bond. This exercise is a great teacher too. By the end of seven days, you may likely have a much clearer vision of the blocks that are getting in the way of a deeper connection.

 

Just Do It
There are many ways to use the concept of Date Minute. Make up your own Date Minute. My wife and I sometimes just break into dance in the kitchen . . . for one minute. Or sometimes we hug each other and match each other's breathing … for one minute. Sometimes we just act as silly as possible … for one minute … and make each other laugh.

This is your official challenge — THE DATE MINUTE CHALLENGE. Are you up to it? To all my men out there, I know you can do it. Give me one minute a day for the next seven days and dedicate those minutes to creating a deeper love with the woman you love, the one who stuck by you and loves you. Report back. Tell us what you experience. What are some things you can do with your partner to create intimacy in 60 seconds? Share them and let us how you are using Date Minute.

by Compulsion Solutions client, Craig

For more information and help for your marriage impacted by sex or porn addiction, see our website.

This article was originally published at Compulsion Solutions . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Compulsion Solutions

Author

Sex Addiction and Porn Addiction—We've been there and we know the way out. Compulsion Solutions offers the time-proven approach of George Collins to damaging sex addict and porn addict behaviors, incorporating scientifically proven “mindfulness” techniques that are now being used by the military to treat PTSD and substance abuse. We've been using this approach and these techniques for over 20 years to help people just like you.

 

 

Location: Walnut Creek, CA
Credentials: BS, LMFT, MA, MFT, Other
Specialties: Sex Addiction
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