Intimacy in 1 Minute — After Porn or Sex Addiction

By

Intimacy in 1 Minute — After Porn or Sex Addiction
Date Minute, an exercise to rebuild connection. You just need 1 minute per day for 7 days.

For an intimate connection to grow, it needs attention and nurturing. While this is true for every couple, it is mission critical for couples rekindling intimacy after sex or porn addiction has wreaked havoc on their lives. My wife and I call this condition "sex affliction." Sex affliction occurs when a relationship suffers a profound attack against its safety, vulnerability, intimacy, and sex, caused by one partner's sexual betrayal with porn and/or people. If your relationship has a sexual affliction, you already know how much easier it is to pretend that the injury to your sex, the injury to your "love," doesn't exist.

The reality is however, that stagnation = death, you must move forward. Action is necessary. You must move toward love. We know about this from personal experience. Fortunately, we found our way back to each other and now help other couples do the same. In the course of our journey we needed tools and exercises to help us find our way. Heres is one technique that Michelle invented to deal with my absolute inability to remotely even connect with the concept of INTIMACY.

I was paralyzed. I wanted nothing to do with sex or intimacy. Sex was a scary dark place. It wasn't warm, loving, beautiful, and the ultimate expression of my love for my amazing wife — it was none of those things and I was scared. In complete and utter frustration with my "fear of intimacy," one night my wife, in a burst of genius made me an offer I couldn't refuse. She asked me for 60 seconds. She asked me if I could give our relationship one minute of my undivided attention and love. I was instantly excited because I knew she was on to something. This is when Date Minute was born. I felt a wall coming down as she gave me this gift, just one minute of our complete attention. 

Just one itty-bitty teeny-tiny minute — it’s so easy to do that we officially double and triple dare you to try it. In fact, we challenge you, yes you, (if you are in a committed relationship with another human being we are talking to you) to give undivided, complete, and full love and attention to your significant other. This means looking into each other's eyes, hugging, matching your breaths, dancing, singing  . . . just try something to connect the two of you for 60 seconds.

Date Minute is a very powerful way to connect. Some even call this exercise intense. For the exercise below, all you need to do is connect with your significant other for one minute per day for seven days. This is your DATE MINUTE CHALLENGE. You ready? Read on if you are up to the challenge.

Tips Before You Start

This article was originally published at Compulsion Solutions . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Compulsion Solutions

Author

Sex Addiction and Porn Addiction—We've been there and we know the way out. Compulsion Solutions offers the time-proven approach of George Collins to damaging sex addict and porn addict behaviors, incorporating scientifically proven “mindfulness” techniques that are now being used by the military to treat PTSD and substance abuse. We've been using this approach and these techniques for over 20 years to help people just like you.

 

 

Location: Walnut Creek, CA
Credentials: BS, LMFT, MA, MFT, Other
Specialties: Sex Addiction
Other Articles/News by Compulsion Solutions:

Is Gawking At Women Objectification?

By

Alan used to look at porn but, through counseling, had been able to stop. However, he persisted in his behavior of objectifying women. Although Trish had spoken with Alan many times about how his behavior seemed demeaning from her point of view, he just couldn’t or wouldn’t change. Alan didn’t see anything wrong with gazing – ... Read more

Integrating The Smoldering Embers of Shame

By

“I don’t like green things!” Little Jimmy didn’t want to eat the vegetables on his dinner plate. His parents were exasperated. “Do you know how hard your mother worked to shop for this food for you, to cook for you?” asked Jimmy’s father. “You should be ashamed of yourself. Go to your room. Now!” Almost ... Read more

Your Internal Guide May Change Your Outlook On Life

By

Your capacity to deal with any difficulty is strengthened by developing a deeper awareness of your internal guide. We all have one. If you are dealing with an addiction like porn addiction or sex addiction, or learning to work with your partner's addictive tendencies, your internal guide will help lead you through hard times. *** Once upon a time, ... Read more

See More

PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Most Popular