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6 Amazing Ways Life Gets Better When You STOP Watching Porn

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Heartbreak, Sex

Porn addiction almost destroyed my life. Here's how I gave it up for good.

Six months ago, my entire day revolved around porn. It was ruining my relationship, my sex life, and seriously getting in the way of my goals and plans. It just had to stop!

So, I embarked upon a path to give up porn and decided to call Compulsion Solutions. It was time for me to grow up and I can undoubtedly say my life is so much better now.

Are you a porn addict? Is watching porn detrimental to your relationships? If you need help like I did, here are six ways your life gets infinitely better after you quit porn.

1. You suddenly have way more time in your day.

What do you want to accomplish in your life? Do you want to learn another language? Finish reading that new book? Learn to cook?

Well, guess what. Giving up porn gives you back the time you've been missing. When I was "using", I found myself watching porn for hours at a time. Add it all up over a week ,and I pretty much had a part-time job watching porn.

But the only thing it paid me in was shame and regret.

Things in my life were always getting done at the last minute; I was often late for work or meeting up with friends, and my apartment was always a mess.

I removed porn from the equation and I suddenly had a huge chunk of time I could put toward all those positive things I wanted to accomplish—the laundry, dishes, and vacuuming all got done in a day. I could now concentrate on improving myself instead of hurting myself.

I started handing in my homework and assignments on time. Recently, I ended up with a 90-average in school. I also won a small scholarship for having the highest grades in my program. I added more to my writing and multimedia portfolio than I thought possible.

The best part is all the new skills, goals, and accomplishments that become your focus throughout the day, instead of videos of naked people. You have to hide your porn use—but your new job, skills, car, and girlfriend? Those you can show off proudly. 

2. You start to like yourself ... and so do other people.

This all ties into the new skills and hobbies you develop. David Wong, of Cracked.com, said it best: "You can't bullsh*t yourself into being happy." If, by the end of the day, all you've accomplished is a few deposits into the spank bank and your place is still a disaster, what is there to feel happy about? 

Well, that's the problem. Human beings generate happiness from accomplishments, even if it's just small ones. Instead of letting the mess in your room accumulate, clean it up. From there you can carry that effort into other things that make you happy.

Another important reason to kick your addiction is that other people will like you for it. Once you give up your porn addiction, you become the type of person employers want to hire, the type of friend people want to have, and the type of guy that girls want to date. It's only natural.

Productive members of society get more respect and admiration from people because being around them is more enjoyable. You learn that you didn't need to win a gold medal, have lots of money, or be a movie star for people to like you.

You just had to accomplish a few small things. If you attempt to make an effort, it's usually enough to make you feel that much better about yourself.

3. Sex starts to feel real again.

As Gary Wilson of yourbrainonporn.com says, "Sex is not the same thing as porn." It's the same way that playing "Call of Duty" on Xbox isn't the same thing as going to war in Afghanistan.

When I was using, I looked forward to porn, but I would dread sex.

Sex with my girlfriend felt like a chore, but it wasn't her fault. I avoided sex because I trained my brain to turn to porn for arousal. So, when it came time to satisfy my girlfriend, it just emphasized the distance I created between us.

It didn't happen right away, but after a short time I started to desire her touch again. I didn't need to distance myself from intimacy or passion. Porn doesn't have those things.

Porn lets you dismiss it when you notice a small imperfection and move on to the next video. It creates a desire for an unrealistic sex life that would never, ever satisfy anyone. It's also something I projected onto myself. I thought I needed a built physique or be well-hung for someone to desire me.

Leaving it all behind made me start to notice my girlfriend again and love her for who she was. It made me stop objectifying other girls as well. Have you noticed that girls don't want to spend time around you? I sure did. My crudeness put them off and I don't blame them.

4. You finally stop lying.

Living with a porn addiction was like having a double life. I constantly worried about being caught again by my girlfriend. I'd obsess about checking to make sure I erased my history and deleted my cookies. No matter how many times I checked, I still felt paranoid that I left a bread crumb somewhere.

I constantly worried that my relationship would end if my girlfriend caught me. My girlfriend would confront me on things I couldn't explain. She'd always suspect something and I'd get mad at her for not trusting me, which was completely stupid ... because I was untrustworthy.

When you live a lie for long enough, you start to convince yourself of it, and the more lies you tell you can't bring yourself to tell the truth about anything. To overcome this, I had to come clean about my addiction and deceptions to my girlfriend.

It was incredibly painful, but after six months I can definitely say that it was worth it. I started to tell the truth, knowing that my girlfriend could've left me. It turned out that all she ever really wanted was honesty.

Once I gave up porn, I didn't need to hide anymore. If I made a mistake, I could admit to it. I didn't have to pretend I was perfect. Now, when my girlfriend asks me what I did today, I can tell her the unedited version of what I really did. I no longer have to worry about hurting her ever again.

5. You understand what it means to have complete control.

We all know that addictions are not limited to porn or sex. The human mind is an amazing thing and it can turn almost anything into a drug. A&E has a show dedicated to people with addictions—everything from alcohol and heroin to food and shopping.

Once I dropped the porn from my daily routine, my brain still wanted the dopamine fix. I understand it's incredibly easy to fall back into the same habit with a whole new fix, but when you apply what you learned from your addiction to other aspects of your life, it helps you make the best choices.

If there is one thing I've learned from this journey, it's that you're an adult now and if you make bad choices no one is going to stop you. When you're a kid, your parents limited the time you'd spend watching TV, make you eat your vegetable before dessert, and made sure you cleaned your bedroom if you wanted your allowance.

Well, you're all grown up now. Are you going to eat McDonald's every day? Are you going to rack up your credit cards until you're bankrupt? Are you going to drink until you throw up each night? If you do, no one will stop you.

Porn is certainly an example of this. There is a chance that no one will know you're addicted to it. The only one who can stand in your way is you. I learned to think of all the consequences. I learned to ask myself, do I need this much of this? Is this the best decision? How will this affect me tomorrow?

I'm not saying that I obsess over it, but it's up to me to act like my own best friend. That's what an adult does.

6. Things seem possible again.

When I was using porn, it was my crutch. If I had a bad day, I watched porn. If I had a fight with my girlfriend, I watched porn. If I felt bored, I watched porn. Things just seemed too damn hard when I was on it.

I've used the example of my messy apartment a few times, so here it is again. It's hard to imagine what was really stopping me from just getting up and doing the dishes each day. Now, it's no surprise.

Add up all the previous points on this list and there was a guy who didn't do anything with himself, who people didn't want to have around, who was afraid of intimacy, living a lie and had no self-control. It's no wonder life felt so difficult each day.

I wanted an excuse to watch porn so I'd look for reasons to feel tired, stressed, and overwhelmed. Once I gave up porn, after a while I gained the perspective that life really isn't that bad. Yes, bad things do happen. Things are tough, but when I'm looking for a crutch every time things don't go my way, I see how I'm missing out on the good things.

I've been without porn for six months and I now work hard at my job and school, and have acquired many more useful skills that I'm proud of. Now, I'm the type of person people want to have around; I love intimacy and sex with my girlfriend again; I'm upfront and honest; I do my best to control myself and make the right decisions.

All of these are things I wanted to accomplish. I know I can do them. I don't have to feel held up by anything because life doesn't feel so heavy anymore. Life feels like it's worth living.

I truly believe that life will only continue to get better from here ... and the same thing can happen for you, too. If you find yourself exhausted and overwhelmed as you begin to quit your addiction, know that the six steps I mentioned are what you have to look forward to.

Recognize that there will be slip-ups, problems, and roadblocks along the way, but you're trading a bunch of pixels of naked people on a computer monitor for a real life with happiness, success, and freedom. Never forget that.

George Collins, Founder of Compulsion Solutions, has spent the last 30-years helping porn/sex addicts to reclaim their lives, self-esteem and relationships. His book is ranked #1 on Amazon in its category. 

 

This article was originally published at compulsionsolutions.com. Reprinted with permission from the author.

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