THE UGLY TRUTH

I know that experiences with my immediate family and friends are changing because I am connecting with clarity to awareness. The veil is lifting as the lies dissolve and the secret held within is revealed.

I feel the difference in me. I see the truth in others.

More from YourTango: YOU ARE AMAZING

My time in separation starts with me. Feelings of guilt, jealousy, self-doubt, resentment or hurt can rise up within when triggered by the presence of someone else’s secret. They may not even be aware of the information that is in them. Guilt may be planted from long ago because a choice they made affected me. The secret can be a lie created by an unconscious moment that connects to both of us.

Shame or anger projected from the secret acts as a barrier to love and our open heart.
We can all feel another person’s in-authenticity even if they don’t realize that the secret or lie they are carrying is causing them to separate.

Sometimes we walk on egg shells around someone because we feel them closed or uneasy. Other times we feel their projection of pain because they don’t know how to manage the emotions that may suddenly ignite. I separate from my heart and my loved ones if suddenly a secret lie is triggered. I am unloved, unworthy, guilty, resentful, hurt or disappointed.

Once I take responsibility of what this secret lurking in me is, I then have a chance to heal the conflict that keeps me separate.

When I realized that others have the same experience, I can observe with eyes of non-judgment. Breathing into the uncomfortable feelings living in me allows the connection with the presence of love and awareness within.

The veil created by a secret is lifted and clarity gives me comfort. My relationships become authentic because I am. The secret is out and we are free!

More from YourTango: Look In The Mirror

I recall many times when I or someone has shared intimately. I feel the difference immediately in myself and in them. It is a relief when I finally know what is going on even when the truth is ugly.

I can remember when I was very unhappy in a relationship. For months I could feel myself shut down and pretending that everything was alright. He was trying everything to make me happy. I felt terrible that I was withholding important information. I made excuses and found my self in distraction. He could feel me pull away emotionally and physically and I knew that it was driving him crazy.....making him feel like a bad boy, which turned me off even more. The truth that I was not in love with him any longer was the secret that closed my heart. When I finally shared with him my true feelings we had a chance to move on with clarity. It doesn’t mean it’s easy, but it is healthier to tell the truth instead of having a secret….even if it is ugly.