Garth Brooks’ song The Dance reminds me that when we are enjoying a loving relationship we may not be sure how long it will last. He says, “I could have missed the pain but I would have missed the dance.” I believe the dance of relationship can show us love and pain. We might not know what we had until we lose it.
Garth also sings that with her he felt like a King. Unfortunately the King falls. Feeling his pain, he wonders whether he would have done something different if he knew then what he appreciates now. He confirms that his life is better because he chose to experience the dance of relationship, even though the ending was painful.
Don’t let the fear of failure cause you to miss The Dance. Have the courage to show up, step onto the dance floor and experience the thrill of dancing.
The pain we feel in relationships can keep us locked in past experiences, keeping us stuck by blaming or judging another. When this happens we abandon ourselves and we shut down our own heart. We should use this experience to feel our past suppressed emotions and re-connect with who we are. Connect to this dark place inside instead of plugging into the other person.
The dance of relationship can become an opportunity for healing otherwise we’ll end up creating the same experience over and over until we do it differently. It just takes one to shift the dance between two.
More from YourTango: YOU ARE AMAZING
Each past relationship still lived in me because I had not forgiven, or could not let go of the memories of the pain. This attachment, shut down my heart as I held onto anger, resentment or hurt … the thought of them would close my heart.
Once I took time to acknowledge and release my unhealthy emotions with The Inner Workout, I could forgive and let go... had more space for love. The love I had with this man was my own love … not his. I could then open my heart and remember the joy of the relationship. I took the time to heal my wounded heart and saw how my past relationships created the dance of love and the dance of pain. The love gave me strength to feel my pain. It was mine to feel fully and each man created an opportunity for the healing of my soul.
More from YourTango: Look In The Mirror
Every experience in relationship can reflect separation or connection to beloved, safe love. Once we get to know ours triggers and our resistance, we can move away from old patterns that keep us disconnected from our own love within. Try to look at each relationship as a soul mate connection … each one essential for the evolution of your soul.