1. The Unavailable Relationship
In an unavailable relationship, your partner doesn’t show up, doesn’t call and is never there, unless he or she wants something or it suits their agenda. In this relationship you may feel the disappointment of always waiting for the other person to appear, and no matter how many times you talk to them about not showing up their behavior doesn’t change. They aren’t available for themselves so they create this experience within and for their partner.
Recognize that you may be unavailable to yourself. Are you taking the time to be with you? Are you feeling your open heart? Can you respect yourself and say, “This isn’t good enough?” Are you staying in the relationship but feeling like you’re talking to a wall, repeating the same communication over and over? The void you feel in this experience is the memory of the relationship you may have had with your mother/ father or both, because they were busy and did not choose to love.
Be available to yourself and show up for you. Don’t settle for crumbs. Say, “This is not what I want!! It’s not what my soul yearns for. How will I grow personally if I am stuck?” Use this relationship to stand up for what you deserve and allow your self-worth to grow. Empower yourself by saying, “This is not good enough.” Inspire the other person by showing them how to do it differently.
You may be creating a busy life for yourself because you don’t want to feel your void, the emptiness or the density of suppressed past hurt.
Be available to yourself! We can become so dis-connected from our own source of love that we surrender our power, creating a very uncomfortable experience. In that way, we give others power over us to control how we feel.
IT IS NOT THEIR LOVE
IT IS OUR LOVE THAT WE FEEL.
EACH RELATIONSHIP IS THE OPPORTUNITY
TO LOVE MORE
OR LOVE LESS
If you find you are waiting for someone to show up or call, take this time and connect to what it brings up for you. Be the one to show up for yourself and this will attract the one who knows how to show up for you. If you wait for someone to give you the attention or love, you may be disappointed.
2. The Lonely Relationship