I am trying my best ….I cry with my mind and heart. “What more can I do?” I ask.
I am guided to memories of my younger days when PMS ignited any emotions that were not taken care of monthly. Teenage hormones take our daughters to other planets and send them back to us with emotional outbursts as we shake our heads and wonder where our little girls went. Well….they went to battle the hormones and the emotions that are erupting from every cell of their body…..preparing for motherhood and then menopause.
I feel another power surge of energy move up my spine…it feels like all of the blood is rushing to my head and my heart feels like it is on fire, melting every organ in me.
I ask my body, “What are you trying to tell me?”. Moving into the experience I feel the sadness of my body and I see that the tears need to be released. A life time of tears are finding their way out of every pore of my skin. Hormones….ah ha moment...HER MOANS…..the moaning of the body transitioning any sadness or tears that have not yet been released from within.
I see the plan and I move into acceptance….
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Being with this message I struggle for a bit and then I am grateful for the insight.
I am sure that the whole mind, body and spirit have been part of this journey with the threshold of my ageing. I have been taking care of my emotional body for 25 years now; my spiritual body having awakened shortly after my physical and emotional health crashed.
Years of union with my mind, body and spirit have been a good thing and
sometimes a good attitude will shove away sadness or tears. For years before my breakthrough, my life challenges pushed emotional and physical toxins down into the core of my body. I was not as conscious then about healthy living and cravings with my need for love took me away from my own connection to my self.
Yes, I was a caretaker and didn’t take the time for my self that I needed….oh guilt ….yes that was another seed of pain. It is all coming clear to me ……my heart, my other organs…liver and kidneys for example were damaged because of my denial and I am sure that my healing is a forever process.
Because of my ongoing commitment with my personal journey and relationship with my emotional health, I am sure I have cut myself some slack with my menopausal symptoms.
Depression or mood swings are not a problem….anxieties with the hot flashes are taken care of at the point of ignition while I lay awake and don’t ignore any feelings that are rising to the surface. This process of taking responsibility for my emotional body over the years has saved my family from the horrors of me being an angry, resentful woman at this time when I am being truly stretched…. sleepless nights and the moans of my body on the threshold of my life change.
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I am wondering if the protocol of HRT suppresses this experience and manifests into disease. God made our bodies with the precision of wisdom to find its way to healing.
Holistic approaches and wellness choices can help ease the struggle yet the process to clearing is absolute and necessary for each of us.