Expert Blog Compelling advice, stories, and thought-provoking perspectives straight from YourTango's lineup of Experts to you

Silencing Your Inner Judgments


Critical judgment comes from our childhood... HOW CAN WE TURN THAT VOICE OFF.


Our childhood wounds continue to resurface through our life. If we had parents who are judgmental or critical we will attract judging relationships that will bring this experience to the present for us to feel and heal.

Our response while triggered by criticism may be that we judge ourselves in a negative way. Another result of this childhood experience could be that we become our parent and be judgmental and critical to our own children or others. Either way we have learned this communication as children from our parents or caregivers.

We cannot escape the initial molding of our beliefs learned as children. The lie of self-doubt and negative behavior was planted like a seed in our memory cells and our life experiences and relationships have conformed to this as truth.

If it is not in our nature to criticize and judge others, than we will usually become experts at criticizing and judging ourselves.

Self-doubt becomes the vibration that manifests the same lesson over and over again. Once we become conscious of this wound with our Mother/Father/Caregiver, the burden does not have to create such dysfunction in our relationship with others or ourselves.

If we can share with an open heart we can ask our loved one not to criticize or judge us.
They may not be aware of the fear that is rooted beneath the negative feelings.
Most importantly, we must not believe the lie of judgment and stop judging and criticizing ourselves. This is a very unhealthy way to live.

Although my parents did not judge me as a child or an adult, I learned from them how to judge and criticize myself.  This bad habit has been one of my hardest lessons.  When I turn the critical voice off by not believing the lies, I can see how I create a happier, healthier and abundant life.  Supporting myself with unconditional love allows me to attract relationships and purpose that reflects the joyous truth.....I am worthy.

As I hear the critical voice of judgment from another I breathe into my feelings and move into my heart of compassion. I don’t plug into the lie of judgment. They may be judging themselves, criticizing others or me and I breathe within and allow the truth to arrive.
I don’t need anyone’s acceptance or approval ….I need to accept and love myself.

1. Judging myself or them stops the flow of awareness.
2. Breathing into my feelings that are rising up gives me a chance to be present and available to my emotional body.
3. Not plugging into their pain and staying open in my heart creates a safe place for healing.
4. As I acknowledge to myself the truth in the moment allows me the opportunity to stay connected to the source of love and compassion.
5. I don’t have to control or fix anyone to feel good or bad. I am here to take care of myself and connect to the love within.
6. In this moment of the ignition of emotions I take the time to breathe and forgive.
7. Not judging or criticizing the other person or myself keeps me humble
8. Because I took care of my own feelings triggered, I can be authentic as I listen or speak with my open loving heart.

How can we judge anyone for how they are evolving through their pain and struggle?

How can we judge ourselves?

Why do we criticize anyone ?

Why do we allow that critical voice to beat us up?

Fear is the underlying current that wants to be released out of the body.

Fear of acceptance and approval.

Fear of not being loved.

Allow every relationship to take you to the truth that you and they are loved unconditionally.

Love brings up the pain.
Pain brings us to deeper authentic love.


Explore YourTango