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24 Hours & The Gift Of A Second Chance

Love

A day in a life with Mary and a chance to do it differently.

 

 

 

Mary's Personal Bio

 Born March 1966
Mother-disappointed, withdrawn, depressed
Father-angry, controlling with drinking problem
Mary never felt good enough.

Bio: Assistant editor for a major Home Magazine.
Husband Mike, Advertising Executive
Married 15 years, two kids, Maggie 12, Neil 10
Lives in town house, suburbs of Boston

Tuesday, March 10, 2012 – Mary’s talking mind…

6:00 am The alarm clock triggered the morning and anxieties closed my heart.

6:30 am My husband Mike rolls out of bed with no warmth or acknowledgment. He heads right to his computer…I say good morning and I feel negativity in my heart. We don’t’ talk anymore…

7:00 am No time to be with the kids…they get their own cereal…I hurry them out of the house…yelling from the top of the stairs.

7:45 am Driving them to the bus stop I feel agitation building as the kids argue about nothing important. I lose it, sharing my disappointment in them…they jump out at the bus stop.

8:00 am While feeling guilt about my projection of anger, I find my way to the racetrack highway that sucks me into the morning road rage.
Stress builds as I listen to news of gang violence on the radio…Emotional toxicity pollutes our world.

8:30 am As I take the elevator to my office I feel uncomfortable with the people around me…they all feel like strangers…silence speaks.
My life is sad…I have anger and resentment in me…passion for living is gone.
As I walked to my office, I could feel my fear of the day ahead of me. I am late and my boss gives me a look of disapproval. He is angry and controlling and his intimidation takes up a lot of space.
I sat at my desk and felt my self-doubt knocking on the door.

9:00 am Out from nowhere my boss pounces in and criticizes a project that I had put my heart and soul into. I felt disrespected and overwhelmed…I promised him a revised package in 24 hours.

9:30 am –12:30 pm I took out my conflict with my assistant and became critical…disregarding her lunch, I pushed her all day to accomplish the deadline.

12:30 am My lunch was a venting session with my girlfriend…releasing my rage and judgment about my boss.

1:30 – 6:30 pm I didn’t have time for a drink of water, let alone to breathe!

6:30 pm Carrying my full briefcase home, I picked up some fast food telling the kids to fend for themselves…they love eating in front of the TV.

7:30 pm When my daughter asked for help with homework, I snapped at her.
My son needed a hug, I brushed him off quickly, “I have so much work to do”.

9:00 pm My husband came home…late as usual, drinking again…he was no help to me and spoke rudely when I greeted him with a closed heart.

9:30 pm Tucking the kids in…they were already asleep. I grabbed a bag of chips and filled my emptiness as I finished the project with resentment.

11:00 pm I fell into bed exhausted…before my eyes closed a tear released pain from my heart, “I am sick and tired of my life struggles…I feel lonely. How can I find happiness?”

11:00 pm – 6:00 am
Mary’s Dream....

Sleep came in on the wings of peace, I opened to a world I have dreamed of. The air had a calmness, I could breathe fully into the present moment. I was drawn to a woman who had an inner strength about her. I couldn’t make out her face…such warmth and peace. Every insight she spoke moved through me as truth. In silence I felt acceptance and had no fear. Her eyes were of love.

I could feel heaviness in my heart. Reaching out to me, she placed a gift in my hand, I rested it on my heart. I felt like a sponge as I absorbed truth that changed my perception. It was like a switch was turned on in me and I was different. We sat under a blossoming tree and she shared a visualization exercise that would become my inner support system. This Goddess inspired me with my purpose, career, family and relationships. I released my emotional pain…information moved into my veins like a blood transfusion. I could feel my self-worth strengthen.

I entered a doorway, looking over my shoulder…the light shone bright on the woman’s face…she was me. The opening took me back to relive the past day…

March 10, 2012

6:00 am The alarm clock triggered the morning, I took the time to feel my anxieties and I greeted the beautiful sunrise.
I reached over to my husband and kissed him good morning. As I showered and dressed I felt the challenges of my day and then remembered the gift…seeing the opportunities ahead.

6:30 am My husband shared with me his worries about his job, I held the space as he felt his fear. I looked at him with eyes of love and told him that I respected his choices.
Family breakfast was great, I felt so present with everyone’s plans and chatter.
I encouraged the kids to get moving and our drive to the bus stop included Neil’s jokes and solving a girlfriend issue with Maggie.

8:00 am I could feel love for my children as I drove off. The busy highway allowed a great time to listen to a few tapes…I loved the trip inside me as I made my way through the traffic.

8:30 am In the elevator I greeted my co-workers, interested in getting to know them. As I walked to my office I could feel my fears…I put my hand on my heart and remembered the gift. When my boss gave me his piercing look, I smiled calmly…feeling my self-worth strong.

9:00 am My boss opened my door with his critical voice…I said, “I appreciate your feedback but I don’t like how you project your anger.”
For the first time, I felt my boss respected me…we had a productive meeting. I took responsibility for important points I had missed and he showed me the strong parts of the presentation that he thought was very powerful.  I know now that he can be a great mentor for me. Our communication together was clear and honoring.

9:30 am– 12:30 pm I could see that he was under pressure, I had compassion. I told him that I would re-vamp the project within the week. We were open to each other’s ideas. It felt good!

12:30 pm I invited my assistant to join me for lunch, we discussed the new deadline. I wanted her to know how much I appreciated her. We make a great team.

1:30 pm I felt so connected and my afternoon flowed…accomplishing so much, I didn’t have to bring work home and compromise family time.

5:30 pm I had time to go to the gym and pick up healthy groceries for dinner. While I was driving home my husband called and said he would pick up the kids.

6:00 pm When I arrived home I could feel my joy and the kids ran up to greet me.

6:30 pm Mike and I made dinner together, we enjoyed family time. Neil talked about a conflict at school…I asked him how he felt. He felt angry and his dad shared with him an experience just like his, involving a bully. I shared how I don’t see my boss that way any longer…I stood up for myself today, feeling respected.

9:00 pm Mike and I tucked the kids into bed together telling them how proud we were of both of them.  We prayed together and each one of us shared our blessings of the day.

9:30pm While in the bath I took time to feel any anxieties of the day…I put my hand on my heart and felt the gift…

10:00pm I lit some candles in our room and Mike and I opened our hearts, intimately talking about struggles and successes of our day. Our relationship deepened as we held each other in our arms, feeling gratitude.

                               Wednesday March 11, 2012

                                               6:00 am

                           Mary woke up to her life worth living!

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