More from YourTango: YOU ARE AMAZING
Mary's Personal Bio
Born March 1966
Mother-disappointed, withdrawn, depressed
Father-angry, controlling with drinking problem
Mary never felt good enough.
Bio: Assistant editor for a major Home Magazine.
Husband Mike, Advertising Executive
Married 15 years, two kids, Maggie 12, Neil 10
Lives in town house, suburbs of Boston
Tuesday, March 10, 2012 – Mary’s talking mind…
6:00 am The alarm clock triggered the morning and anxieties closed my heart.
6:30 am My husband Mike rolls out of bed with no warmth or acknowledgment. He heads right to his computer…I say good morning and I feel negativity in my heart. We don’t’ talk anymore…
7:00 am No time to be with the kids…they get their own cereal…I hurry them out of the house…yelling from the top of the stairs.
7:45 am Driving them to the bus stop I feel agitation building as the kids argue about nothing important. I lose it, sharing my disappointment in them…they jump out at the bus stop.
8:00 am While feeling guilt about my projection of anger, I find my way to the racetrack highway that sucks me into the morning road rage.
Stress builds as I listen to news of gang violence on the radio…Emotional toxicity pollutes our world.
8:30 am As I take the elevator to my office I feel uncomfortable with the people around me…they all feel like strangers…silence speaks.
My life is sad…I have anger and resentment in me…passion for living is gone.
As I walked to my office, I could feel my fear of the day ahead of me. I am late and my boss gives me a look of disapproval. He is angry and controlling and his intimidation takes up a lot of space.
I sat at my desk and felt my self-doubt knocking on the door.
9:00 am Out from nowhere my boss pounces in and criticizes a project that I had put my heart and soul into. I felt disrespected and overwhelmed…I promised him a revised package in 24 hours.
9:30 am –12:30 pm I took out my conflict with my assistant and became critical…disregarding her lunch, I pushed her all day to accomplish the deadline.
More from YourTango: Look In The Mirror
12:30 am My lunch was a venting session with my girlfriend…releasing my rage and judgment about my boss.
1:30 – 6:30 pm I didn’t have time for a drink of water, let alone to breathe!
6:30 pm Carrying my full briefcase home, I picked up some fast food telling the kids to fend for themselves…they love eating in front of the TV.
7:30 pm When my daughter asked for help with homework, I snapped at her.
My son needed a hug, I brushed him off quickly, “I have so much work to do”.
9:00 pm My husband came home…late as usual, drinking again…he was no help to me and spoke rudely when I greeted him with a closed heart.