If you answered yes to more than half of the questions welcome to the club! The term codependent sounds like a terrible diagnosis, but it’s not—you can use your map making skills and carve a new path for yourself.
I know from experience. Over the years, I’ve taught countless workshops on love and breaking negative relationship patterns. You can ask Marc, my now husband, learning to walk free of codependent patterns in my own life is not always a ride in the park.
I am now in a healthy interdependent relationship and I am grateful every day for that. I still need to watch it when I am tired, hungry or just plain spent after a busy time.
See if that is the same for you. Watch to see if you find it easier to let some one else’s bad behavior bug you when you are feeling low yourself.
Sit in a comfortable chair in a quiet space and close your eyes. After a couple of breaths, think about the women in your life. Let yourself think of one particular person. A person you have known less than 5 years. One who gets to you, has done you wrong or hurt you in some way.
Whoever that person is, focus on her for a moment and feel what is going on in your body. Notice what it feels like to be upset with her.
Now, think. Who does she remind you of? See if there isn’t another woman in your past who looked like her, acted like her or most importantly, made you feel like you are feeling right now.
Spirit, so much smarter than us...uses these people, the ones who are hurting your feelings, to shine light on the drama in your past still simmering. To break free you have to clear your interior filters so you can move past patterns holding your love life in place.
When you have codependent tendencies, you miss the chance to smooth the bump out of your ancient map when you make a big deal about the other person, get it? A Wise Teacher once told me, “You are never upset about what you think you are upset about. Never.”
The Power Question to ask is not “Why won’t he stop doing that?” The Power Question is “Why does that behavior bother me so much?” There is real treasure at the end of that question.
Last step. Write a letter to that person in the far distant past. Tell them all about how hurt your feelings are. If you need more tools, you will love the Heart Dynamix™ module of Master Intuitive Coach® Institute training.
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