Since meeting and marrying Marc, some assume that because of my deep intuitive gifts that somehow I have an edge when it comes to keeping our lines of communication open and operational. Wrong.
Not only did Marc come into my life in my fourth decade on the planet, I also brought into this life time a host of past patterns and attitudes that are present for my growth and development as a soul. Remember, I still have the yammering and stammering of my Goblin.
Just like every other human being, my wounded ego can still be awakened by shame, blame and fear. When I met Marc,even though in my deepest heart I knew he was my forever man, I was still plagued by a fear of abandonment and was plagued by thoughts of “what if this is too good to be true?”
Many singles come to me for readings and coaching thinking that once they find their soulmate that wounded part within will be silenced by the perfection and wonderfulness of that partner. Ha! Little do they realize that it is exactly because of the Goblin and its invitation to address the wounds of the heart that True Love can grow and prosper.
As I teach in my book, The Map: Finding the Magic and Meaning in Your Life, your current lifetime is a reflection of a myriad of choices and stories –some made and told long before you were born. Indeed as a true treasure map, there are lots of clues and “X marks the spots” along the way. The cool thing is that all you have to do is ask (and then sit still to listen, of course) and Spirit will clearly show you the spot on your path that says: “You Are Here.”
In part 1 of this series of articles on communication and connection, I talked about Harville Hendrix and how his Imago work changed me and empowered me to be the kind of partner Marc was searching for. Here is the scoop on Mirroring.
Dialogue is the only true way to create connection. The trouble is that very few people are naturals when it comes to dialogue. First let me tell you what dialogue is not. Dialogue is not spewing out your opinion. Dialog is not planning your response while your partner is still speaking. Dialogue is not a one person job.
Dialogue is a commitment. A commitment to speak the truth calmly with detachment as well as a commitment to listen dispassionately, respectfully and with openness. You might have such a close connection that you finish each others sentences and yet never really understand your partners internal reality.
According to a study published in Science Daily University of Chicago researcher and communication expert Kenneth Savitsky, "People commonly believe that they communicate better with intimate partners than with strangers. That closeness can lead people to overestimate how well they communicate, a phenomenon we term the 'closeness-communication bias.'"