Why Men Are Settling For Mrs. Good Enough

to the YourTango newsletter!

FIND AN EXPERT
Advanced SearchKimberly SeltzerDr. Erica  GoodstoneJennifer Chappell Marsh MFT Intern #65184
ProConnect

Are You Single This Valentine's Day? [EXPERT]

By . Posted on .

Are You Single This Valentine's Day? [EXPERT]
When all you see are couples cuddling and planning Valentine's dates, do you feel left out?

Do you ever feel pressured to be with some one for Valentines Day when in your heart of hearts you are really ok with being alone?

I recently did a reading for a woman who was really down on herself.  Why?  Because all of her friends are in long term relationships and married and she is still single.

 As we continued to talk, she began to pour out her heart.

Stacie, not her real name, was really content being single but she had the bad habit of comparing herself to her married friends.  Even though her life was working, she could still be pulled into the illusion that living a different way would make her happier. Desperate Debbie & 9 More Women That Turn Men Off



Helping her shift her perspective reminded me of my own experiences comparing myself to others.  No matter how many times my friends and family reassured me that I had been blessed with unique qualities and how gifted and talented I was, I could never stop comparing myself to others.

At first I didn’t realize that by seeing others as better than me that I was putting myself down. 

It took time but eventually I learned that demeaning myself always breaks my connection with the Divine.  

Think about it, the Divine created quirky wonderful you and sealed a seed of love in the core of your being.  And, last time I checked, the Divine is a stellar designer.

 

When you criticize yourself, you turn from the Truth, that you are a priceless and precious being on the journey of a life time.  Mapping out your route with the information you learn here or in the Map will always turn you inward which is where the action is always. 7 Reasons You're Not Married Yet

So what’s the problem?



As a “Comparaholic” in recovery, I can promise you that comparing creeps up on you in the sneakiest ways.  It’s bad enough to look around the old school way, seeing friends and neighbors acquire more money, bigger houses or career opportunities.  

Now we have reality TV and the Housewives of Desperate County flaunting lifestyles that, fake as they are, influence peoples’ views of their own lives.  And Valentine’s Day is always the hardest time of year to keep your eyes on your own life.



In the Heart Dynamix™ module of The Master Intuitive Coach® Institute training, I teach practical tools and sure-fire methods I have learned to bring your inner world and outer world into congruence when it comes to Love but for now.....

Remember, it is a natural human tendency to want to compare and there are benefits, that is why accountability partners are so remarkable in creating forward momentum. When you are comparing your completed to do list with your another’s, that is powerful magic.

Everyone has an ego, and the wounded part of that ego acts out of anger, fear and separateness.  I call that part that is solely identified with your wound- the Goblin.  If your Goblin distracts you by directing your thoughts toward what others have that you don’t, you stop thinking about what you DO want and all momentum stops.  

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Colette Baron-Reid

Author, Dating Coach, Life Coach, Relationship Coach, Speaker/Presenter

In service and love,
Colette Baron-Reid


Master Intuitive Coach®, Life Strategist and #1 bestselling author of The Map; Finding the Magic and Meaning in the Story of Your Life
Founder of the Master Intuitive Coach® Institute

www.MasterIntuitiveCoachInstitute.com
www.ColetteBaronReid.com

Location: Hampton, NH
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Addiction, Energy Psychology
Other Articles/News by Colette Baron-Reid:

Are You A Natural Born Coach? [EXPERT]

By

Ironically, People Who Feel Too Much are always attracting people who pour out their hearts and you probably have profound healing and counseling abilities yourself. I know it may be hard to believe it now but feeling “too much” is a profound asset, both personally and professionally. One in five people are “intuitive empaths,” and ... Read more

5 Survival Steps For People Who Feel Too Much At Work [EXPERT]

By

For years and years I thought I was the only one on the planet to live life the way I do. Hyper sensitive to my surroundings, I was forever embracing self destructive habits that helped me survive the constant stimulation coming at me from all directions. These days I work in an environment that is perfect for me but that wasn’t always the case. If ... Read more

Weight Loss An Endless, Hopeless Cycle? Take This Quiz! [EXPERT]

By

I glanced down at the scale and shame rushed up from my toes. 219. Me. Svelte Soul Sister Singer of the LIght. I couldn't even look myself in the eye in my bathroom mirror. Before now, when my clients complained to me about putting on weight for no reason at all or swear to me that they never eat a thing after 4 pm, I really didn't buy ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Press Conference

DeMistyfy Your Dating: Radio Interview: [EXPERT]

And yes, we spelled it that way for a reason! Listen to this humorous interview of Spike and learn!

Running Woman

Post-Divorce Growth…After They Go, Grow [EXPERT]

Identify your positive changes post-divorce. Make it a growth experience!

No Love

Married and Fighting? It May Signify a Solid Relationship

Married couples can be too harmonious. Find out how much discord creates dynamic relationships.

Have a dating or relationship question?
Ask it here and one of our experts will answer it.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
FROM OUR PARTNERS