10 Things I've Learned In 36 Years Of Marriage

8. Your presence is the best gift. The primary question in every intimate relationship is, "Are you really there for me?" Being present, paying attention, and enjoying time together sends the message that "you are most important to me and you can count on me to be here." One ritual my wife and I have enjoyed over the years is taking a weekend away, just the two of us, at least a couple times per year. It's a great way to re-connect.

9. Love stretches us. This is one of the purposes of marriage. Your partner will demand from you that which you are not yet capable of giving. For example, "I demand that you love me in spite of ..." That something is usually in the area in which you are most vulnerable, such as anger, sex, security, or need for affirmation. This is generally not a conscious process but it helps to be aware of it and cooperate with it. How To Survive Your First Year Of Marriage

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10. My spouse is usually right about me. This is one I hate to admit but it's true. Even if it is feedback I don't want to hear or I think it is exaggerated or distorted, there is always some truth I need to hear. Sometimes my wife has more confidence in me than I have in myself and I need to hear that too. Learn to appreciate your spouse as your mirror and see what you may need to adjust.

Every relationship is unique of course, but I have noticed as a coach that these principles apply to all of us. Look in the mirror at yourself and your own marriage and see if some of these fit for you. Take the long view on your marriage and you will find your way! Marriage Meditation: Become A More Loving Person

Tom King
www.reimaginemarriage.com

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