The Parent's Job


The Parent's Job
A parent’s primary job is to reveal self-worth to their children.

In my work as a marriage and relationship coach I encounter many people who are dealing with parenting challenges.  I also see the effects of the parenting they received on their current relationships.  Therefore I wanted to share these thoughts on parenting.

A parent’s primary job is to reveal self-worth to their children.  Self-worth is not to be earned or granted. One cannot earn what is already yours.   No one can give you what you already possess.  Self-worth is a God-given birth rite.  It simply needs to be affirmed.
Parents reveal this worth to their kids through love, nurturing, safety, discipline, and respect.  Through these a child sees his or her worth and internalizes a base of security and confidence.  The child feels validated and this becomes the psychological foundation on which he or she can build.
This foundation is critical for the present and future well-being of every child.  It influences the way life is engaged, decisions yet to be made, and the quality of future relationships. This sounds daunting perhaps, but the good news is parents do not have to be perfect, just consistently loving and present to their children.  Of course it is not easy but it is a job that deserves your very best.
Even when your children become adults they still look to you for affirmation. They want to know you are proud of them and that you are still there when they need you. However, if you have done your job well they will leave you to live their own lives.  Now it is their turn.  This is the bitter sweet reward for all you have invested.  There is really nothing better in life!

More from YourTango: Date Nights Improve Communication and Sexual Satisfaction

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Coach Tom King


Tom King

Speak the Truth in Love - Home Study Course

Check out my new book: Date Night Conversations

My website


Location: St. Paul, MN
Credentials: LICSW, Med, MSW
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Career
Other Articles/News by Coach Tom King:

Date Nights Improve Communication and Sexual Satisfaction


As Valentine’s Day approaches couples around the world began thinking more about setting up the perfect romantic date.  Flowers, chocolates, Jewelry, dinner, theatre, or a bed and breakfast all are traditional ingredients of great dates.  Others prefer much more simple and low key options like taking a hike together or sharing a cup of ... Read more

A Day of Peace


On December 25, 1914 the guns of British and German soldiers fell silent, and soldiers sang carols in No Man's Land.  The Christmas truce during WWI happened spontaneously as soldiers on both sides heard their enemies singing carols.  A few brave men climbed out their trenches to exchange Christmas greetings and then began to exchange food, sing ... Read more

The Truth About The Five Love Languages


Love languages is a framework made popular by Dr. Gary Chapman in his book The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts. The basic premise is that what feels like love and caring behavior to me may not communicate love and caring to you. We all have a variety of love languages but we need to understand our differences and preferences and use that ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts

It’s Time To Wake Up!

Yesterday I went on my first college visit with my oldest daughter Sara.  Since I ...

Broken Heart

Tired of Being Tired?

TIRED OF BEING TIRED? C. Norman Shealy, M.D., Ph.D. MED MD reports that one million ...

Come Hither

Nuru Massage: A Slippery, Sexy Erotic Adventure

Nuru Massage is the hottest new erotic trend - here's how to do it at home without the mess!

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>