What Are Your Sex Expectations?


What Are Your Sex Expectations?

Our lives are full of expectations, dreams and goals we want to accomplish. We all have expectations, dreams and goals for our marriage and many of those are in the area of sex. Unfortunately, many married couples never take time to sit down and actually discuss their sex expectations. We may feel embarrassed about some of our expectations or even think that our spouse might think we are "dirty" or "perverted". Therefore, we stay quiet and only dream about our expectations and even get frustrated with our spouse because they can't figure it out. God created sex for enjoyment, not just for procreation and I believe that the best sex is married sex. Yet, many couples miss out on enjoying each other erotically. The lack of discussing our sex expectations can sometimes even lead to fantasizing about acting out our sexual desires with someone other than our spouse. It is a tragedy that those fantasies and desires are as close our bedroom yet so far away because we don't talk about them.

All couples enter marriage with their sex expectations regarding frequency, endurance, performance, sex positions, locations, and what types of sex you will engage in. The stereotype is that most men dream about their wife being that wonderful classy lady in public but a woman gone wild in bed ready to attempt any sexual act possible. In reality, many times it is the wife who has these sexual flames of desire for her husband and how he will be a Tarzan in the bedroom. It is not always the man who has the strongest sexual desires.

Almost every couple wants a healthy and fun sex life. How about you? Why are you putting off talking about your sex expectations? These expectations can be silent for years in a marriage creating frustrations that show up in many areas of the marriage. I disagree with those that say sex is not that important in marriage. If it is not important why can it create serious frustrations and issues in marriage? Also, if it is not important then why do couples with good sex have healthier relationships and lives? Research proves that good sex helps make a good marriage.

Here are some questions and thoughts you can discuss about your sex expectations:

1. What are some challenges related to your sex life?
2. Is quality or quantity most important?
3. How much is enough?
4. What is the sexiest thing about your spouse?
5. What is the sexiest thing about you?
6. When do I feel most sexy?
7. What really turns me on?
8. My fantasies include......
9. I want to have more......
10. What would you like to change or improve in our sex?
11. I would like to attempt new sex positions such as....
12. What do you think about masturbation together or individually?
13. To me foreplay means....
14. Should we add sex toys to our sex play?
15. What about sleeping nude?
16. Something I think about a lot related to sex that might surprise you is.....
17. On a scale of 1 to 10 my orgasms usually rank.....
18. Our sex seems boring to me because....
19. My thoughts on quickies are....
20. Something I love about our sex life is.....

These are just a few topics of sex expectations you can discuss. The list will grow once you get started. If you increase your communication skills and reach deeper levels of intimacy outside the bedroom your enjoyment of sex in the bedroom and anywhere else you can imagine having it will become very satisfying!

I have heard it said "As your sex life goes, so goes the rest of your relationship." Are you talking about your sex expectations?

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Recent Expert Posts
New Baby

Feed Your Baby!

4 Reasons Why We Should Stop Feeling Embarrassed About Breastfeeding

Parenting Advice On Stressed Out Kids

What's The Deal With Kids Today? Your Stress

Why won't your kids listen to you? Maybe it's the way you are talking to them.

So In Love

15 Dirty Questions To Ask A Girl And Make Her Wet

Men agree that there is something incredibly sexy about making a girl aroused simply by ...

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>