Like so many men, he gets turned off when a woman opens up about how busy her life is and starts complaining during the very first conversation. It's just not attractive.
Now, I'm not saying you can't talk about your life but this is a first date right? You want to give him a good impression. You want him to think you've got your life together. You want him to think you are happy and easy to be with.
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But when you complain and talk about how busy your life is, what he hears is:
- "She has a lot of problems."
- "Is this really her best?"
- "She's going to be hard to get together with."
- "Ugh, this isn't fun. I could be watching the game."
- "She won't have much time for me."
- "Will I have to listen to this all the time?"
- "I don't want to hear this. Too bad, she's really cute."
I want you to understand men and how they see you. Knowing how this works changes your dating experience because it puts you in control. In addition, I want you to be as open as possible so you don't miss any chances of connecting with the right guy for you.
Do you know what might be keeping you from finding the love of your life? My bet is you are not fully in touch with it. You may have inklings. You may think it's all about how men nowadays stink. You may think there just aren't any good men or you don't know where to find them. I have found in 11 years as a dating coach, the reasons probably go a bit deeper.
I recommend taking some time over the next weekend to really think about this. Ask yourself these questions:
- Are you fun on a first date?
- Do you present your best self?
- Are you there to share your troubles or find the love you long for?
Then think about how you want to show up on your next first date. My bet is, things will go differently if you do this exercise.
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Want more tips about what turns men off? Download my Free book 5 Big Turnoffs That Drive Men Away. And if you catch yourself wondering "Why Can't I Find Love?" find out more about my workshop by the same title starting 2/25/13