I'm a fan of the Millionaire Matchmaker on Bravo TV and last night's episode was great to blog about! First, I love Dr. Pat Allen who tried to help Angela and Shonda with how to balance their own alpha tendencies in the presence of an alpha man. What they cut out was most likely a lengthy explanation of how the last thing an alpha male wants from a woman is competition!
Think back to the old days. The husband would go off to work hard all day, providing for his family. When the “king” came home to his “castle”, his wife catered to him, maybe even met him at the door with a drink to help him relax from his hard day.
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A Soft Place to Land – Your Feminine Charm
Even though so much as changed for the alpha male today and he knows you’re busy and can’t cater to his every whim, he still wants that “soft place to land.” What makes him feel good is hospitable feminine energy to compliment his hearty masculine energy. Unfortunately the Millionaire Matchmaker’s clients this week, Angela and Shonda want to meet alpha men (which literally stands for lead dog) using their own alpha energy. Pat Allen said it best when Angela expressed how she wants a strong man to dominate her. She point blank told her she’ll be a spinster. I agree!
Alpha Female + Alpha Male = Competition and Power Struggle
If you are an alpha female who cannot manage to turn it down and let your beta female come forward around men, than you will not likely attract an alpha male. Nor would you be comfortable with him! This type of romantic coupling will lead to nothing but power struggles and fighting.
Powerful women struggle with this idea and I don’t blame you! As a dating coach today, I understand from my own life and dating journey. I worked in the corporate world and made it to the top of my career chain with my MBA in hand. I really know how you feel.
How to Balance Your Masculine and Feminine Sides
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It wasn’t easy to develop your masculine side and achieve your career success. You’ve earned that power seat and hate to give it up for one minute. And, the truth is, you don’t have to. Neither Pat Allen, nor I are asking you alphas to let it go. We are asking you to open to understanding how healthy masculine/feminine energies work best together for a lasting loving relationship. That is what you want right?
So, if you insist that you must have an alpha male for a romantic partner who is even stronger than you are, you will need to learn how to appeal to him with your feminine charm. All that means is you cannot come from your day job to a date and still be in charge. An alpha male wants to be in charge. Can you let him be? Can you make room in your alpha world for him to retain the function of being an alpha man?
Conflicting Desires for Love and Power