Could These 10 Cities Actually Break Your Heart?

Have you ever thought that the city you love in has something to do with your love life? Finding a scapegoat for your unhappy love life can just feel good. Who doesn't want someone to blame, so why not the city you live in?

A recent study by CreditDonkey.com assessed cities across America to see where love goes wrong most often. Four factors were considered by city in this report:

1. The average length of marriage by state is a sign of how happy people are in their committed relationships. The national average is 19.4 years, which isn't bad. And the shortest marriages are found in our nation's capital, Washington DC, with just 12.4 years. Maybe politics and love don't make such good bed fellows.
2. The Gallup Healthways Well-being Index assesses healthy behavior, as well as emotional and physical health among other things for people in 152 cities across the US. If you're happily married or in love, you're more likely to rank well on this index.
3. The number of dating services shows the demand for singles services in a city. It might also point to one way to cope with breaking-up, as the newly single search for love again.
4. The number of gonorrhea cases reported by the Center for Disease Control was looked as a reason why people break-up. When you think about it, if you're in a monogamous relationship, you aren't likely to contract venereal disease that spreads through multiple partners.

The Top 10 Cities for Heartbreak

1. San Diego
2. Phoenix, AZ
3. Los Angeles, CA
4. Dallas, TX
5. Baltimore, MD
6. Houston, TX
7. Riverside CA
8. New York, NY
9. Miami, FL
10. Chicago, IL

As a dating coach for women over 40, I'm not sure this study has real value or was written for readership buzz and click-through power. Do these factors actually measure your opportunity to live happily ever after? Nope, I doubt it! Who determines your ability for a loving relationship? You do of course! If you want to find love, regardless of the city, the method is pretty much the same.

More dating tips on YourTango:

• 8 Modern Dating Rules Every Single Should Know
• 25 Date Night Ideas That Aren't Cheesy
• 5 Dating Tips For Finding The One

8 Ways To Find Love Wherever You Live

If you are divorced, broken up or have been single for a while and want to find love, follow these eight surefire steps. No matter what city you live in, these dating tips will help you connect with the right partner for you.

1. Heal your broken heart. If you've been through a break-up or divorce, you've got some healing work to do. Don't just rush out to find a replacement partner because that is a prescription for further heartbreak. Take time to heal and put the past behind you, so you don't carry that baggage into the next relationship.
2. Build confidence. To find lasting love, confidence matters. Both genders find confidence sexy and seek this attribute in a partner. To build up your self-esteem, appreciate who you are and what you've achieved, then take time to feel grateful for what is good in your life.
3. Know what you want in a partner. As a dating coach for women, I'm always surprised at how many of my clients don't know what qualities they want. To avoid feeling desperate for anyone to fill your romantic vacancy, think about the kind of person who you'd be the most compatible with. Consider energy level, values, politics, lifestyle, world view, shared interests, communication ability and disposition. That's a good start.
4. Mingle and meet lots of people. Want to find love? You're not going to meet Mr. or Ms. Right sitting on your couch watching TV! You'll need to step up your socializing and make an effort to be out and mingling. Since dating is a numbers game, the more men or women you do meet, the better your chances of connecting with a good match. Even meeting someone new can be helpful because they have brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts, nephews, mothers, colleagues and neighbors who might be looking for a wonderful woman or man like you.
5. Remember how to flirt. If you are like my clients, most of them tell me they either forgot how to flirt or never knew how. That's OK, if you forgot, flirting is like riding a bicycle! Give it a shot and it will come back to you. If you never were a flirt, then follow these simple tips to get started.

The good news about flirting is that even if it feels a little uncomfortable or fake, it doesn't prevent it from attracting men or women. Try a few of these flriting tips today:

• Smile and make brief eye contact (2-3 seconds is enough).
• Be friendly when you are out in public.
• Don’'t be afraid to strike up a conversation.
• Make it easy for someone to approach you.
• Be kind, other men and women are watching how you behave and interact.
• Look happy and look like you are enjoying yourself.

6. Give someone a chance. For instance, today women are tough! If you don't like a guy who catches your eye, you are likely to flatly reject him or ignore him. Remember, men are people too. If you give guys a chance by engaging with them for 5-10 minutes, the ones you meet might surprise you. Quality men are tired of being rudely rejected by women. So, if you are kind, your desirability skyrockets!
7. Know when to let go of Mr. or Ms. Wrong. The point of dating is what I term “data gathering”. You are looking to discover if the man you're getting to know is a good match. When you start to see red flags or notice things that don’t work for you, pay attention! A lot of women hold on too long, thinking things will get better or that they’ll never meet anyone else. That fallacy prevents you from moving on to find a better match. Don’t waste precious time on Mr. Wrong. Let go and free yourself up to meet the right man for you – he is out there.
8. Keep the faith and get committed. Love is real for you. Having dated 30 men in 15 months to find the man I married, I know it's not easy, but you need to stay positive and active. Women often give up too quickly because love doesn't fall in their laps after a few dates.

Be committed to finding love! Stick with it even when you are disappointed. Know deep within your heart that your efforts will be rewarded. That will help you get through any dry spells or rough patches. You need to believe in love.

Dating is a journey of self-discovery. You learn about yourself and what you want in a partner. No one ever looked back after finding love to say, "That wasn't worth it." Be true to yourself and your desire for love because that is what it takes. Every man or women you meet brings you one step closer to the right person for you. Whatever city you live in, there are single men and women who would be lucky to date a wonderful person like you.

Are you an over 40 woman struggling to find love? As a dating coach for women 40+, I provide proven dating methods that have helped thousands. Get more tips in my FREE book 5 Big Turnoffs That Drive Men Away. Let me help you find love with the right man and avoid the many potential pitfalls along the way.