I know how hard it can be to find love with a good man. I understand when women complain to me that the men out there are terrible. All the good ones are taken. And what's left are scary monsters like Frankenstein – OK I've got Halloween on my mind.
I walked in your shoes being a single woman over 40. But I was lucky. I had access to so many methods to open my mind and turn my negative thinking around. And that was one of the biggest challenges I faced — believing a good man was out there for me and I could find love. I worked at it, used every exercise and mind trick I knew to shift this pattern that would have crippled my search for love if I let it.
And I did it! Not only did I manage to keep an open mind about the men I met and stay positive during the dating journey, but I also met an amazing man that I've been happily married to for 12 years now. I want you to have what I have. It's worth the effort – it really is. So here are three empowering exercises to help you find more good men out there in the world and leave those scary monsters behind:
1. Practice looking for the good in men. When you notice men walking past you on the street, instead of ignoring them or internally criticizing them, take a moment to wonder to yourself, "Hey, why does that man's girlfriend/wife love him? What does he have to offer his woman? What does he do to make her feel special?"
This is a very powerful method to shift your thinking and does take some practice. Don't feel bad if you quickly fall back to thinking he's not dressed well, or is losing his hair, or whatever you might usually think. It's normal that making this shift in thought process will take time. So commit to trying this exercise and be gentle with yourself as you start to notice all the negativity that might come up when you try to think more positively.
2. Smile at one man every day. That means you will need to look up, face forward and be thinking about your surroundings to find a man to smile at. It could be as easy as catching on to who is smiling at you and just returning the favor.
This is another powerful exercise because many women are totally task-focused and in your own world as you hurry to get stuff done. So you don't even notice a man looking at you or smiling. Or your normal instinct is to look away as fast as possible. Neither of these instincts will help you connect with good men.
More singles advice from YourTango:
- Help! I'm Almost 40 And Still Single
- Dating: The One Piece Of Advice All Single Women Need?
- The 3 Big Reasons You're Still Single