My client Kendra met Mike through an online dating site. The first date went great. Kendra found Mike attractive, a good conversationalist and friendly. She felt comfortable with him and thought he had serious potential.
Mike sent Kendra an email the next day saying he had a nice time. Then, three days later, he emailed Kendra offering to cook dinner for her. This proposition put Kendra in a quandary.
She thought it was sweet that he offered to cook for her, but she didn't feel comfortable going to his house for the second date. Something about this made her feel nervous, so she emailed me for online dating advice. 5 Rules For Choosing Your Online Dating Photos
"What should I tell Mike?" Kendra asked me. "I'm not ready to go to his house for dinner. What do you think?"
I think Kendra is smart. Her instincts told her not to go because it's too soon for an intimate dinner. That might be date six or eight depending on who you are. But date two is too soon. I responded to Kendra that I didn't think she should go. If she did go, she'd probably be "dessert."
What makes me think this? When I was on my own dating journey to find love, it happened to me ... twice! The first time, I was out of practice dating and truly had no idea what his agenda was. It didn't take long for me to find out, though!
The second time with a different man, I thought, "This can't happen twice." But it did! I could tell what was coming, so I tried a lot of distraction tactics. For example, he had a big coffee table book, so I picked it up and plopped it on my lap looking through it ever so slowly.
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