Don't worry, you've still "got it"... your flirting skills are just a wee bit rusty.
By Ronnie Ann Ryan — Written on Dec 31, 2014
Are you dating over 50 and struggling to find love? Maybe you don't know where to meet men or think the good ones are all taken. Perhaps you tried online dating, but didn't have any luck and feel turned off now. You aren't sure where to turn, what to do or who to trust which creates frustration and leaves you feeling a bit hopeless.
It's not easy to find love after 50, but that doesn't mean it's not possible. It absolutely is.
Believe it or not, you may have forgotten how to date. Given that it's been years and maybe even decades since the last time you looked for love, you are probably a bit rusty. If your man hunting skills harkens back to your 20's, it's time for a refresher course. Dating over 50 is extremely different than dating was in your youth, not only with interactions, but also in what you seek in a partner.
Truth is, being uncomfortable is a natural reaction to dating over 50. You feel vulnerable, are out of practice and unfamiliar with the requirements of how to find love in midlife. Don't be too hard on yourself. Educate yourself about the dating game and find out what works best. This will definitely increase your chances of finding the right man.
Many of the women I've worked with readily admit they don't remember how to flirt or see why they should.
This admission lets me know they are missing essential knowledge for interacting with and meeting single midlife men. If you feel like I'm describing your personal situation, please read on. I'm going to share my top five tips to help you with dating over 50 and increasing your odds of finding love.
1. Relax and Eliminate Pressure. Putting pressure on meeting each new man will not make it easier. In fact, it acts like a repellent to most men because you'll appear stressed versus light hearted or fun. Practice meeting new people with no expectations so you can build your social skills. In some cases, you are stretching your social muscles for the first time, but don't worry, it's never too late to improve in this area.
The more comfortable you are meeting people, the more confident you'll seem. Men find confident women sexy and appealing at any age really. Push yourself to talk to people you don't know and seize opportunities to strengthen your abilities. You never know who will connect you to "the one" so be friendly to as many people as possible. The bigger your social circle, the better your chances for finding love.
2. Meet Lots of Men. You might think finding love is easy, but what big life goals are? You'll need to meet lots of men to find one good mate. Most women stop short of what would be a realistic number. They meet three to ten guys and give up. I don't know if you'll need to meet 100 men or 30 like I did. Maybe you'll only meet 15, but whatever the number, recognize that dating is a numbers game. Play to win and meet lots of men!
3. Get Over Your Type. Being selective about the men you date is smart dating strategy. But frequently, women exclude men without a second thought which is a shame. The gem guys often don't show up in the package you might expect, but that doesn't make them any less wonderful. Please give more men a chance. Go on a few dates with any man who is passable to get beyond any nervousness before making your decision to move on.
Saying no is incredibly easy. True character and commitment requires saying yes and seeing different types of guys. If you narrow the field severely, you could keep yourself single. Say you want an educated man, what about a bachelor's degree vs. grad school? You want a man who is six feet tall, but what about 5'11"? Small tweaks in your requirements open up possibilities and help you connect with a better match.
If your type of man was so good for you, you'd be with him now. Your type will always come with the parts you like and the flaws that make you miserable. When dating, let your type go and meet a variety of men.
4. Use Your Feminine Charm. Do you remember how to flirt? Did you flirt when you were younger? Flirting allows you to use your feminine charm and appeal to a man's masculinity. If you hope to meet a man using your business skills, you'll be missing the mark for romance. That requires feminine energy. Loosen up, be friendly and work what you've got baby.
Flirting isn't sleazy, sexual or manipulative. First and foremost, flirting uses body language to signal that you are approachable and open to meeting men. You are simply being friendly, playful, charming, and demonstrating your desirability. And MEN WILL RESPOND! My dating coaching clients are always pleasantly surprised by the power of flirting. A quick smile with a little eye contact before you turn your head works like magic. You are not making any promises, just letting men know you are open to talking which is how something can start.
5. Know What to Expect. Most of the biggest disappointments come from not understanding what is a normal course of events. If you set more realistic expectations, you won't feel so down when things don't work out. Here are a few classic scenarios that every woman dating over 50 should expect to happen:
- It seems like you both had a great time, yet the guy never calls again.
- Men will text or call, but won't ask you out.
- Men will flirt but never get your number.
- A man will talk about the future, but disappear.
- He'll tell you he's crazy about you, but has no time to see you.
Understand that a man who acts like this is not the right man for you. The purpose of dating is to see what a man does to win you over. Texting and calling mean nothing without live dates. Words are nice but actions speak the truth of a man's intentions. If he doesn't have time to see you, you'll never be a priority to him, regardless of what he says.
Get clear on some of the classic male behavior so you won't be shocked. Then look for a man who keeps his word and follows through by doing what he promised. That man is a keeper! Many women expect men to suddenly act differently about dating because they are older. But dating behavior is exactly the same whether they are 25 or 55.
Following this advice will help you date smarter. Once you know what to expect, take the pressure off, flirt, meet lots of men, and get past your type, now you've got a real shot at finding love. Dating over 50 is fun and can definitely produce the result you want to find the man of your dreams, even if that's for the second, third or fourth time. Love is possible at any age so don't give up until you find it!
Are you a single woman over 40 who is ready to start dating or dating but not meeting the right men? Get the proven dating advice you need from a dating coach who specializes in helping women over 40 with loads of success stories. Download my free book 7 Dire Dating Mistakes Single Women Make That Keep You Single so you can avoid heartbreaking missteps on your way to finding the magic of love.
