Venting can be the best remedy for a broken heart ... until you take those complaints online.
Divorced singles today seem to be more bitter than ever and the internet allows them to say anything and speak their minds. Is this a good thing? As a dating coach for women, I'm not so sure. In my opinion, bitterness begets bitterness and anger attracts more anger. It appears to be building on itself rather than working itself out.
You might think voicing your complaints online is the best way to let go of your anger. So how is that working for you? Don't you still have all the same feelings? Getting things off your chest is a good practice, but when it's become constant, you have surpassed the benefits and moved on to having a new (unhealthy) hobby. There is a big downside to man-bashing (or woman-bashing, of course).
Relationship ranting has gotten so big that the hashtag #Idontwantyouif recently went viral on Twitter and the tweets fell into several unsurprising categories from calling out exes as "cheaters" or "flirts" to saying dates "have too much baggage," and "don't put me first."
Admittedly, I'm all for being clear on what you don't want and what doesn't work for you in relationships. This is especially important if you have a habit of attracting men with similar flaws. The best way to put an end to that pattern is to be fully conscious of the behaviors that don't work for you. In fact, I have my dating coaching clients make a list of the experiences they never want to relive and the red flags tipping them off to what is coming with a certain type of guy.
My point in this post is to heighten your awareness that negativity serves a purpose. You do need to know about yourself in relationships. After all, dating is a journey for self-discovery. There's no question about that. However, when you make complaining about men and talking about what you don’t want your priority—the thing on which you spend most of your time—that starts to get in your way. Keep reading...
More dating after divorce advice from YourTango:
- Dating After Divorce: The Go-To Guide [EXPERT]
- How To Move On After a Tough Breakup
- 25 Ideas For a Great Date
This article was originally published at It's Never Too Late for Love . Reprinted with permission from the author.