A big issue with online dating is that people often stop communicating abruptly and for no apparent reason. Most of my clients just figure that the other person lost interest or that they must of done something to turn the other person off, and they give up. As hard as it is not to take this stuff personally, you can’t let it get to you. People stop writing for all kinds of reasons, none of them having to do with you. Maybe they lost a job, are dealing with family issues, or just got bored . Let’s be real. Most of us don’t finish everything we start, especially when it comes to online dating. When pressed, the same clients who complain about how other people dropped the ball on them admit that they have emails in their inbox that they haven’t answered.
So, let’s say that you started communicating with you were really excited about, and he or she stopped writing. What can you do. You can blow them off and just move on which is what a lot of people do, or you can say something. If you felt like there was potential why wouldn’t you give it a try? I wouldn’t suggest sending a second email, but one is worth a try. The thing is that I want you to stop playing it so safe and take some risks. The fun in dating is being able to play and not be perfect all the time. What better place to practice than in emails. You have nothing to lost on a dating site with someone you’ve never met. So get online, go through your inbox, and start emailing all those hot men and women who fell by the wayside.
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Here are two examples of email threads from clients. Hope they give you some inspiration. They worked because they are provocative and playful. That kind of energy is irresistable!
Since I haven’t heard from you, I thought you might have gotten kidnapped by pygmies and might need some help planning your escape.
Hey! I was just thinking about you last week, while bound and gagged! How are you? Can I give you a call on Monday?
LOL! Just the way I like my men! You can reach me after 9pm. I want to hear the whole story!
Hi, in case you hit your head and have temporary amnesia, I thought I would remind you of the cute, funny girl you were messaging…that would be ME!
OMG, I did have amnesia. Thanks for reminding me. Can you ever forgive me?
If you take me to a nice dinner or buy me gifts, I am sure I can forgive anything. But you have to hurry up and ask me out. This email has an expiration date and will self-destruct within one week. :-)
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Lisa Shield, MA, CPCC
Transformational Dating and Relationship Coach